Daily Decisions
The cruising lifestyle is innately fickle. Living on land we were creatures of habit and schedule. If we made a decision about something, we did it. Now, we don’t even feel bad about not being able to stick to a plan anymore, it’s normal… and actually unreasonable to expect. We never know what we’re doing from one day to the next, one hour from the next, and we change our minds in an instant to stay or go somewhere due to…I can name a million things: definite weather, possible weather or even the slightest inkling of weather, new cruiser intel, sicknesses, boatwork (there’s always boatwork), the nebulous nature of searching out ‘boat bits’ or hiring craftsmen in a foreign country, wanting to see something new and unexplored. Frankly, a fluid agenda is all we can ever really hope for.   

We’re Leaving Tomorrow – Yeah, Riiight
“We’re leaving tomorrow” is a statement to be taken about as seriously as Justin Beiber. We’ve heard this phrase over and over… then something happens, and so and so is still in port a week, a month later. Recent examples: One boater schwacked their keel hard against the shallow canal floor leaving Mazatlan - back to the marina to check if the hull was cracked. Another couple had to turn around because they didn’t check the dredge times – back to the slip, there’s no room to get out the channel. Just prior to heading south, someone accidentally filled his water tanks with gas (ouch, that’s a big one) – back to the dock for days and days of a cleaning nightmare. Several boats remained in town for Carnaval, based on local advice that it was a worthy once-in-a-lifetime event, in spite of their initial plans to stay in Mazatlan for merely a week. We know one couple who delayed departure simply due to fatigue; the morning of their slated passage south (it’s an overnight to get anywhere from Mazatlan), they just didn’t physically feel up to the rigors of sailing for 24-hours… and ended up not being able to get out due to windy conditions for over a week. (It’s smart not to push it when your lives and your home are on the line). On and on and on. Plans change. Every minute of every day.

Staying for Carnaval and Canvas and Welding
Our original plan was to stay in Mazatlan until the end of January, one month.  Carnaval would begin a week later resulting in a 2-week delay… but the lure of such a spectacle was too strong to miss. After we decided to stay, we took advantage of the extra time to get some canvas work and welding done while we waited.

The Stainless Welder
One project was to replace 4 lengths of lifeline with stainless steel rails welded to the stanchions at the front of the cockpit. (Brian had wanted to do this before we left, but ran out of time.) We spent a week trying to persuade one welder to do the job. We’d seen his impressive work on other boats and contacted Mr. X who said he’d come the following day. No show. We’d call or email to remind… “Oh yeah, I’ll come tomorrow”. We’d wait ALL day in the boat, afraid to go ANYWHERE for fear we’d miss him. No one came. After 2 days of this, with a day in between each definite “I’ll be there” day, totaling 4, Brian went to his shop and spoke to him in person. “OK, I come mañana”. Again…NADA! Wasting a week, we finally gave up and found Alfonso who actually DID want the work; he did an excellent job to boot – and in only one afternoon! Nearly every day, as I lean on its support stepping on or off the boat, or grab when walking forward as we are sailing, or steady my camera on it, or watch Brian lean over it to pee off the boat when sailing (no, you just can’t train them)…  I reflect on how much I absolutely LOVE my new steady handhold.

The Canvas Guy
Living on the boat full time results in constant sunshine and salt grating into our 12-yr-old Eisenglass dodger windows. We could barely see through the faded, pockmarked, sunburnt plastic. I had tried restoring the material via a special polish to no avail. The best canvas guy in town is Ruben - if you can get his time, you are one fortunate person. Cuba Libre had brought down sheets of polycarbonate window material (forget about buying this stuff down here) to have Ruben remake their dodger. After Ruben completed their job, he managed to have a sheet left over (lucky for us!). So, we had Ruben replace the windows in our dodger and make Sunbrella covers to protect our new investment. The timing worked perfectly - we got the finished product back just after Carnaval. Thanks to Cuba Libre, we can see clearly now, the fade has gone! Time to leave. Right? Riiiight.

Those Darn Wishy-Washy Cruisers
After Carnaval, we were all set to leave. I had even bought groceries for the overnight trip south to La Cruz and then on to Puerto Vallarta. Then it happened. We flip-flopped. AGAIN. You see, a man named Beto had been refinishing the exterior wood trim on Mopion, a sailboat across from us at Marina El Cid. Each day, we’d gaze longingly over at their shimmering teak caprail, glossy and ornate spindles shining in the sun. We watched as Beto sanded it all down and then applied coat after luscious coat, day after day. Ah, if only our own teak could look this beautiful, this “bristol”, once again. I admit… we seriously coveted their varnish job. But please, if you have ANY teak on your boat, don’t TELL me that you DON’T covet another man’s perfect varnish. You’d sooo be lying.

Beto Brings It
We began to ask ourselves the inevitable question. Hmmm. We hemmed and hawed. Brian chatted with Mopion about the workmanship, whether he was happy with the result (he was). We hemmed some more. We’d amble over to B-dock and stare at Mopion’s teak as we passed by... sigh…sooo pretty. We worked up enough nerve and got a quote. Ouch. Beto couldn’t start for another 10 days. Then it would take an additional week to finish the job. We hawed again. Finally, we jumped. We’d much rather have our hideous, orange-peeling varnish fixed here in 1 week (Beto is not only good, he is FAST) as opposed to doing it ourselves in 3 weeks in the hot, oppressive and sandy boatyard in San Carlos this coming November (our original plan), severely cutting into our cruising time that we were supposed to spend in the sea with our friends this fall. That made it a no brainer.

So Long Puerto Vallarta
But it cost us timewise. By the time our varnish would be finished, we’d have to head north to get the boat up to San Carlos and us out of the country by April’s end. So long PV. Maybe next year. Fickle? Wishy-washy? You bet. Over the past year and a half, we’ve learned that cruisers are inherently wishy-washy. It is an acquired trait. But a necessary characteristic we have learned to adopt in order to keep the boat and our health and happiness maintained (that includes our sanity). The best part? We now possess crystal-clear dodger windows through which to navigate, protective window covers, stainless rails forming a more secure cockpit, and beautifully varnished teak caprails, eyebrows and rubrails! As a glassy-eyed Will Farrell from “Elf” might say: “It’s glorious!”

I know what you’re thinking…. Ewww. You went to a BULLFIGHT???? OMG. Don’t they kill the bulls?

Yes, we went. Yes, they kill the bulls, four of them to be exact. But the meat is donated to charity. So there’s that. If it makes you feel better. While I felt sad for the bulls, my desire to witness such a cultural spectacle was outweighed by any squeamishness. Like it or not, this IS part of the culture of Mexico, just as is the cruel pastime of cock-fighting. Our aim is not to judge the practice, just to observe. And I was curious…what IS this all about?

The bullfight is a tradition still widely popular throughout Mexico (and Spain, Portugal, France and Argentina), yet this Spanish-originated pastime is slowly trending toward decline. Our particular bullfighting event is now held just once a year here in Mazatlan. We just so happened to be in town at the right time and lucked into getting tickets to this “Teatro del Toro”. Well, luck wasn’t everything…persistence is key.

Tracking Down Tickets
Online tickets? Puleease. And no box office. In fact, I could find zero info online as to how to go about getting seats or even just finding the event date. Luckily for us, we had the inside scoop from our friends who had gone years ago (shout out to Cuba Libre). The Teatro del Toro, or Theater of the Bulls, sells seats at the former oil change shop turned drive-in convenience store next to the arena. (Picture that… yes, you actually drive into the lift bay to peruse the crackers, candy and soda pops lined up along the bay walls. It’s strange, yet convenient… I don’t know why drive-through 7-11’s haven’t appeared in the US?)

Anyway, we ask the Saturday clerk when the bullfight is; Mr. Saturday knows nothing. Come back Monday, he says. OK. We come back on Monday. The Monday attendant is fortunately in the know. He says the fight is 2 weeks away, but tickets are not yet for sale. Come back next week. So we wait again. We are persistent. One week before the show, we return once more and buy tickets. The sign is finally posted on the outside of the arena: Teatro del Toro presents Pablo Hermoso de Mendoza… the famed bullfighting horseman!

Colosseum
Arriving inside the Colosseum-style arena is reminiscent of the classic ‘Roman gladiator vs. the lion’ setup. Concrete, tiered stadium seating surrounds a circular dirt field 360 degrees - not a bad seat in the house. The place is packed; I guess their simple, single-sign marketing campaign a week prior to show-time WAS brilliant – why advertise when you don’t have to? Standard snack fare: Tecate beer, cacahuates (peanuts), nacho chips with salsa poured right inside the bag (messy!) and chopped pieces of mystery meat (probably hot dogs). Don’t forget the tequila shots. A pep band pipes out peppy tunes to rouse the restless spectators.

Galloping Matador
After the matador introduction formalities, the first act begins. A handsome bullfighter rides out on horseback, introducing himself by galloping mightily around the arena, regaling the crowd. A galloping matador? Who ever heard of such a thing? Actually, “matador” isn’t the proper term; these matadors on horseback are called “rejoneadors”, translated directly as “lancers”.  They are a much rarer breed of matador, and in my opinion, more fascinating due to their ‘horsey skilz’.

Pablo! Pablo! Pablo!
There are two horsemen at this show, but everyone comes to see Pablo Hermoso de Mendoza. The vivacious Spaniard is a world-renowned rejoneador, performing in Portugal, France, Spain, Mexico and South America for the past 26 years.  Pablo was, in short, amazing to watch, as were his talented steeds. This audience was effortlessly swooned by his winning smiles and colonial gallantry, transporting us onlookers back in time. With a horse-pirouette here, a horse-curtsy there, and dozens of raised-arm “Huzzah!” moments, Pablo is a showman through and through. For more info on the dynamic Señor Hermoso, visit his website.

In the Lion’s Den
Pleasantries complete, the rejoneador awaits his encounter. The gate opens. But instead of a lion, a bull charges out into the impending war zone…and he is NOT happy. I don’t know what the heck they do back there to get him all riled up…but it can’t be pleasant. The bull hurtles at anything that moves, soon focusing his attention on the fastest object in the arena. The horseman gallops away, leading it ‘round and ‘round the ring.

Playing Tag
The horse and his human partner are as one entity: staring the beast down, challenging him to give chase. Now, I have zero authority as a “horse psychologist”, but I really believe the horse isn’t afraid of the bull. In fact, he appears to be having fun…like playing tag. “Ha ha, you can’t catch me!” They tease and provoke the bull, sidling up alongside, prancing and dancing about…leading the bull this way and that, often times with an elegant sidestepping motion. Amazingly, the horse twists and turns away at the last second before getting his hiney gored. After the first few minutes of cat and mouse, this first phase’s objective is complete: fatiguing the bull while displaying superior equestrian talent. The rejoneador exits to change his mount.

Ground Matadors
While the horseman is away, the matadors come out to play. As the “ground guys”, these men are what you’d think of as customary bullfighters, festooned in fancy, gold-bedazzled outfits, slippers and the typical matador “montera” sombrero. Waving a brightly colored pink cape, their fabric-whipping is a silent taunt: “Come get me. Over here!” And the bull complies. He runs right at their cape…but just the cape. Bulls have no concept of trajectory… they only focus on the flash of color and seemingly cannot project where the man behind the curtain will run to next. Lucky for the matador!

The Lancing Phase
After the ground guys tire Mr. Bull out some more, our rider arrives with a new stallion and the battle begins. Using traditional “banderillas” or colorful, blade-tipped sticks in various lengths, the rejoneador demonstrates sheer courage by proximity: the shorter the lance, the closer one must position oneself to the bull, the greater the skill and bravery.

Careening headlong towards the bull, the horseman leans over precariously, holding onto the reins with one hand, in the other he holds outstretched the banderilla. In the smooth, practiced motion of a Polo pro, his arm arcs high, swiping the blade down into the bull’s back. If you watch my video, you will see a couple instances where the jabbing action is quite pronounced and visible. Other times, the rejoneador is so fast at his job, only the roar of the crowd signifies he just hit his mark. The daggers go deep and remain in place. Each successive hit tires the bull further. He is visibly bleeding. Poor little guy. Our knight exits. Enter the waiters.

The Loco Waiters
Rumor has it, several waiters from a local restaurant were sitting around getting a little shnockered after work one day and devised an outrageous bet.

“Wait, wait, I got it, I got it… Hey Bob, what if we group-charged the bull! What IF we lined up like an arrow challenging the bull. He charges, catching the lead guy in between his horns! As the bull runs forward with our spearhead leader essentially hugging the bull’s face, each successive man slams into the back of the lead slowing the bull down to a crawl, like an inverse tug-of-war! Eh?!!”  

“OK, great idea Joe, but how do we stop him?”

“Well, then the last guy in line runs around and pulls the bulls tail, while the rest of us surround and push against the beast, giving our leader time to extricate himself from between the horns. Then… we all let go at the same time and run away!”

 “Sweet! Who gets to be the tip of the spear?”

Crickets…

This exhibition is actually a standard bullfighting feature seen around the world. The official name for these types of bullfighters, those that essentially hand-wrestle the bull, is “forcados”.  For our waiter-forcados, their little scheme works like clockwork… most of the time. It seems bulls just want to run in a straight line at whatever they are after. But one bull was a swerver. As soon as he hit the #1 guy… he veered off course! Ruh roh. Now there’s no one to catch his back, literally, and provide opposing force. The guy was tossed around while his waiter-friends ran around like crazed circus clowns trying to surround the bull to perform the extrication.  After all that, they had to do a repeat! Twice! This bull refused to cooperate with their little game. The lead guy actually got trampled both times, but got right back up to do it again.  Now that takes courage, or maybe a complete lack of sense.  The “Tail-Puller” has got to have the best job of the bunch – he gets to skid around like he’s water-skiing on sand!

Kill Shot
After the lancer finishes employing his last banderilla, he waves the white flag, signaling it’s time for the kill shot.  The angle and attack must be accurate; the goal is to precisely stab its heart with a specific Lance of Death or “rejón de muerte” so as to provide the bull a swift demise. As soon as the final stab is complete, the rejoneador leaps to the ground. Valiantly, he runs up close to the dazed and faltering bull and essentially commands him to die.

One time it happened instantaneously - as soon the horseman approached, he waved his hands like Yoda performing the Jedi mind trick; the beast drops dead instantaneously and the crowd cheers wildly. It was incredible. Another time, it took a while…toooo long to die. The proud rejoneador turned bull-whisperer…we could see him speaking to the bull, coaxing him, almost like he had to talk him into dying. “Come on… it’s OK… you can go now, you fought like a champion.” That proud bull fought like hell to stay standing. Sad. Interestingly, if the bull wasn’t killed quickly or he suffered more than necessary, the crowd will boo the rejoneador.

The Don
As soon as the bull keels over, the crowd expectantly turns toward the skybox suite where sits… The Don. OK, they don’t really call him that, but if this were a movie, he’d be stoically played by Edward James Olmos of Battlestar Gallactica fame. As the bull’s owner, The Don not only gets the best seat in the house, he subjectively decides the score based on the rejoneadors’ proficiency and how quickly he feels his bull died.

In silence, The Don contemplates… stern-faced, aristocratic… as the people wait for their Cesar to raise his flags. Two is best (quick clean kill and expert showmanship); one is OK; none means you didn’t do your job – it’s considered bad form and you’ll most likely get booed. If the crowd determines that The Don is not being generous enough, they will chant “dos, dos” (two) or “otra, otra” (another), meaning “give him two ears already!” Ears? What do you mean ears?

Ear You Go!
Well, if it wasn’t already gory enough… based on the number of white handkerchiefs displayed by the owner, the horseman receives either one or two ears as his prize. Yes, ACTUAL ears. In comes a special “ear-cutter matador”. This man’s job is to literally saw the ears right off the now dead bull. Then, in a quite solemn manner, he holds them out for display to The Don who graciously nods his approval. Ears (or ear, singular) are handed over ceremoniously to the rejoneador and the crowd cheers! More mariachi music!

Exit Stage Left
So, what to do with a deceased bull? An entire team of bull-disposers now file into the stadium with a no-kidding donkey-pulled cart. One man pulls the bull’s head up by the horns while another shoves a sled under the massive head. The horns are then tied to the sled, the donkey train is attached, someone slaps em’ on the behind and away the poor little guy goes…dragged off stage. Sand sweepers rake the arena back to smooth.

Donkeys are not always cooperative and one time they were spooked so bad it took forever to get them to settle down. After this awkward display, I’d opt for a tractor. But maybe they still use donkeys purely to highlight this as a traditional feature of the bullfight. Or not…it’s probably just because donkeys are cheaper than tractors.

Four Rounds - Four Bulls - A Remarkable Night
Four bulls are selected for the night, each successively larger and more menacing. The first bull was the worst as far as being shocked by all that blood running down his furry coat; I felt really bad for that first bull. But the incredible showmanship and talent of these matadors and the spiritedness of their horses negated future qualms. After you know what to expect, you start to focus on and appreciate the skill and bravery of the riders, the audacity of their steeds and the pageantry of it all… rather than the “death” aspect. No, this show is not for everyone. But we feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to observe this dying tradition.

VIDEO
I got really good photos of the #2 horseman (in olive green), but Pablo (in red) was just too fast. By the time I clicked, many of my photos were a blurry mess. The GoPro video wins over the Fujifilm FinePix XP on this count except it can't zoom. Watch Pablo for yourself in this VIDEO. But…
WARNING:
This photo gallery and video contains images of bulls that’s have been stabbed and are bleeding or dead. No people were harmed at this event. DO NOT allow children or those of squeamish stomach to view these photos without first reviewing them for appropriateness. ‘Nough said. And for you PETA types, don’t bother with the negative comments – don’t care.

Part of the Mazatlan Carnaval experience is its elaborate parade...an endless sea of fantastic floats, beauty queens, musicians and dancers winding their way along the waterfront. Indigo, Sea Dancer and Harmony caught a red troca (canopy covered pickup truck) to a bayside hotel where we witnessed the grandeur in comfort!

AguaMarina
For 900 pesos ($50) per couple, the AguaMarina hotel puts on a nice buffet dinner with parade view seating. Again, when you need to wait 5 hours for the event, the beauty of purchasing tickets is having chairs and access to a real bathroom. (I’m beginning to sound like I’m 100 years old… only concerned with restrooms and standing… but seriously, I’d been sick and didn’t need the germfest of disgusting portapotties or to be exhausted after standing all day in the sun.) We received numbered wrist bands with matching numbered chairs so no one could infringe on our space. Surprisingly, the seating was tiered, providing us a perfect seated view of the parade.  

Commercial Parade
The commercial sponsors have their own parade before the main show. So we got a 2-fer. Gaspasa (gas company), TelCel (cell phones) and others, construct elaborate advertising floats, often using company vehicles. But, in the case of the bus company…no decoration required. I imagine the float planning committee is run by Ron Swanson of Parks and Rec: “What are we going to do for Carnaval this year, Ron?” “Just drive the bus, what else?” Silence. “OK, fine, you can plop a t-shirt-throwing chick on top, but just one.” Meeting adjourned.

Pacifico Procession
The main sponsor is Pacifico. Started in Mazatlan by German immigrants back in 1900, this company (a city institution, really) still operates its large factory near the cruise ship harbor. So it wasn’t surprising to see Pacifico headlining the commercial docket with an envoy of vehicles, including a gigantic semi-tractor trailer brimming with musicians and scantily-clad Pacifico Girls topped with a mini remote-controlled Pacifico Blimp launched into the air right from the flatbed. A parade within a parade… before the real parade.

Wiggin’ It
Pre-parade people watching was interesting stuff. The ever-present Carnaval masks were a hit as usual, but colorful wigs and cool hats ruled. We saw kids with long purple hair down to their ankles, guys and girls in gigantic 70’s afros, a couple sporting Mario and Luigi hats, Spiderman masks, even a super creepy Mad-Hatter disguise.

Need More Lasers
Confetti flew everywhere, spit out in streams at spectators from every other float. In the early years of Carnaval, hollowed eggs were filled with flour and flung at floats and spectators alike, causing a huge mess. Eventually, confetti eggs replaced flour as a better alternative. Management has since cracked down on projectile-throwing for safety reasons. But now we have LASERS! Yes, you too can buy a laser and shine it in your fellow float-riders eyes, blinding them for life. But it’s so much SAFER. And more environmentally friendly.

The Real Parade
While the commercial parade began in daylight, we waited at least another hour for the main attraction. Dark by now, we could see the lights of the procession across the bay, crawling at a snail’s pace along the concave oceanfront boulevard. Then the first float arrived, and we were treated with an endless array of elaborately lit structures, smiling, beautiful women in sashes doing the queen wave, live musicians trying to overpower their competition on the preceding float, confetti blowers and t-shirt throwers, fake eyelashes, sequined dresses and tight gold lamé shorts. Dancing teams (one performing to Saturday Night Fever of all songs) and dozens of mariachi and banda bands marched in between. This year’s Carnaval theme was “The allegory that emerged from the waves”.  So, all the floats tended to be ocean-related and/or Atlantis-themed. Lots of Greek columns, dolphins, shells, seahorses, coral, ships, even a giant lobster. The evening convoy ended with dozens of prancing horses, all in alignment, hooves lifting daintily.

Effervescent Child Queen
While there were many grand floats, the highlight of the night was the Child Queen float. We saw this amazing 8-yr old at the selection ceremony in the town square and she was every bit as cute tonight. Having an absolute ball, Emilia grinned ear to ear, waving and blowing kisses and looking everyone in the eye like a pro. Then she’d break into dance, boogying on her bouncy “manta ray” perch. After many miles and countless waves, there was no posing, just honesty…a grateful Queen expressing love for “her people”. And the people adored her right back. Maybe one day she’ll be President.

Family Friendly Carnaval
If you are looking for a family-friendly Carnaval to attend, Mazatlan is it. We highly recommend the experience. Just book your hotel early! Despite the sheer numbers of people, the crowds were respectful and getting around town wasn’t too bad. We saw nothing salacious, just a lot of pretty people in pretty costumes and loud music. If you're looking for skin-flashing, drunken revelers or thong-wearing dancers, move along… this is not the droid you're looking for...