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Wizards, Wenches & Other Wacky Wardrobe

10/10/2016

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Picture
Yeah, me and Gandolf. Best buds.
Where can you walk amongst wenches & wizards, lords & ladies, pirates & peasants? Engage in a real-life Dungeons & Dragons atmosphere? The Michigan Renaissance Festival! It’s like a tiny Disneyland for lovers of the medieval age and fantasy characters of all kinds.

The Michigan Renaissance Festival in Holly, Michigan is a non-stop visual extravaganza…a head-swiveling, eye-popping, show-stopping, people-pageant. Since its beginnings circa 1979, the Festival has grown to over 250,000 visitors each year. This 17-acre renaissance replica village is replete with craftsman shops, imitation castles, crowded pubs, entertainment stages and a gargantuan number of gussied-up villagers. On a rainy weekend like today, it feels even more Renaissancy as we tip-toed around the muddy “town” streets, aiming for strewn straw, just as fair maidens did back in the day. Who amongst you wilt gallantly lay down thy cape for me to walk across that puddle... Anyone? Anyone? Nay.

Themed Weekends
From August to the first weekend in October, the festivities are sustained for 7 consecutive weekends. Themes accompany each weekend ranging from “Highland Fling” (with Scottish Games, pipers and legions of kilt-wearers)…to “Royal Pet and AleFest” (drink and be merry alongside your furry friend…preferably costumed in 16th century doggy-duds). The day we attended was “Wonders of the World” weekend, noted for its Steampunk Invasion cocktail party and costume contest reflecting gadgetry, gears and goggles of the futuristic Victorian era fantasy genre.

So, what’s so cool about this RenFest? Well…

The Shopping:
For the Renaissance enthusiast, it’s a dream. Where else can you find this kind of stuff all in one place: custom fitted elf ears (yup, not kidding); Renaissance costumes (kilts, capes, hoop skirts & poufy shirts-like Seinfeld’s “Puffy Shirt” episode); unique potions (herbal extracts); fairy gardens; swashbuckling gear (swords and staffs, pirate outfits and armor.) But you can find unique Christmas gifts too: local honey, artisan teas, carved wooden & stone beer steins, interesting incense holders, handmade leather goods, rare stones and crystals. Got one of those hard-to-buy-for persons on your list? RenFest can help. Who doesn’t want a poufy shirt for Christmas?

The Entertainment:
Of course, you got your requisite jousting tournaments and your medieval castle dinners. In addition, 17 themed stages showcase a variety of performances: lilting and mournful Gaelic music, rock bag-pipers (so cool!), raunchy comedians, peculiar feats of strength (like balancing a wooden bench on your nose – hmmm, reminds me of Mexico) or feats of folly (like flame-throwing). Filtered throughout, you got your Taro card readers, palm readers, metalwork demonstrators, young maidens dancing around the maypole, roving musicians and bawdy bards. There’s even a daily Royal procession where us commoners can get a glimpse of the Queen and her court, along with hundreds of other costumed villagers flaunting their duds.

The Costumes:
Attendees are encouraged to dress up in their finest fantasy frocks. This is actually the best part, because at least half of attendees are in costume, and most are incredibly dressed to the nines. Wizards in flowing robes, buxom wenches in tight corsets (breast reduction?... no, breath-reduction), dainty winged faeries, elves with those custom fitted ears, fancy schmancy noblemen, Friar Tucks, flower-haired fair maidens, armor-bedazzled knights of the realm, sword-sporting Musketeers, cutlass-bearing buccaneers, badly singing bards, wandering minstrels, kilted Scottish knaves, drunken Irishmen…you name it…they all gather together in this spot to have fun being someone else for a day. Think Game of Thrones meets Lord of the Rings. (Where’s my John Snow?)

Some outfits seem a little incongruous…like fat belly-dancers (nobody wants to see that) or Deadpool (I mean, this isn’t ComiCon); others just downright don’t make sense. I saw one disaster of a homemade red butterfly/bee costume; and another guy was only half-dressed wearing a kilt, tennis shoes and plain red t-shirt…total costume slacker. But for the most part, these folks go ALL OUT. And to go all out ain’t cheap. A lace-up bodice alone can go for $200, a red riding hood cape $120, wooden staff $80-$120…it all depends on how authentic you want to look.

While I loved some of the over-the-top costumes, one wraithlike princess in ghost-white makeup with black haunting eyes and a flowing white dress caught my eye as she mysteriously stalked about town…really eerie and movie-worthy. My second fav was Gandolf. Now, you’d think everyone would want to be Gandolf, but I only saw one. Because this guy IS Gandolf… with his stately presence, deliberate stride and thousand yard stare. Anyone who tried to top THIS Gandolf impersonation would fail miserably (and probably be struck down by lightning… or orcs).

The Food:
Come for the costumes and people-watching, but stay for the food. Get here early to try a Scotch Egg for breakfast – a hard-boiled egg coated in sausage and breading then deep fried. OMG this is the best thing ever. Of course there are donuts and cider, soup in a bread bowl, hot spiced walnuts, chocolate covered bacon (‘cause bacon and chocolate solve world crises), and of course, giant smoked turkey legs. Because where else can you get a smoked turkey leg? Plus, there’s beer tasting and mead tasting and wine tasting, all three of which promote general happiness and well-being.

Those Frikin’ Pickle People:
Our first encounter inside the castle walls was with The Pickle Man. Hawking obscenely large pickles on a stick, The Pickle Man managed to bleat out the word “pickle” in such a booming voice, enunciating the PICK so sharply, it scared the bejesus out of me every time. “Piiiiiickle!... PICKle!”  These pickle vendors have their wiles, often making naughty or snarky references to unsuspecting passersby. “Those elf ears are UUUGLY”.

At the other end of the festival, The Pickle Woman lies in wait. She must have overheard one of us saying the name Josh in conversation while passing by. Not skipping a beat, PickleWoman shouted out “Hey Josh!” and hugged him like they were best friends, subsequently proceeding to place a pickle into the hands of his wife. “She wants a pickle, Josh!” OK, you pulled a fast one, very funny… “What, she took it!” He good-naturedly pays for the pickle. Funny gag, right? I take a picture of the incident and in doing so PickleWoman turns and says “Hey, look at your mom!!” Mom? WTF???!!! My eyes go wide and my face turns beet red, mad as hell. Seriously? She sees my horrified face and backpedals: “What, people have kids young these days.” Yeah, I would have been 16. It’s just one more reminder I am getting old. I even put on makeup today and everything!  Ugh…depressing. PickleWoman, NO MORE pickles from you!

An Entertaining Day of Escapism, then Back to the Real World:
Aside from The Pickle Incident, escaping the distressed world we live in for an imaginary realm, even for just one day was a nice reprieve (never mind that life was much worse back in medieval times!) But it is time to get back to the real world. We are headed down to the boat right now to survey the fallout of Hurricane Newton in San Carlos, Mexico and to start getting Indigo shipshape for a 3rd season of cruising!
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Pure Michigan: Shipwrecks, Canoeing, a Destroyer

10/3/2016

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Picture
The Au Sable River
The Sunrise Side
After we split up from my parents, Brian and I drove back through Mackinaw City, crossing to the Lake Huron side of the mitten. The “Sunrise” side. You see, Lake Michigan, being on the western shore, gets the sunsets… and all the money. Those who live on Lake Huron (on the eastern shore) see the sunrises over the lake. In other words: Sunsets + sand = tourism; Sunrise + trees = normal. But that’s kind of WHY it’s cool here on the sunrise side. It’s frozen in time. The towns are more home-towny, a little run down but still plugging away; the trees are a little more scrabbly, the beaches more wild & rocky, the shoreline marshy in many areas (bad for swimming, great for kayaking); driving down the back roads you see… just… a lot of trees, and not many homes and zero traffic. You get the feeling this is how it was up here 100 years ago. You FEEL really far away from EVERYTHING.

Ocqueoc Falls
We spent the night at the 14-site, state forest campground next to Ocqueoc Falls (Ok-we-ok), the only waterfall in lower Michigan. This spot is in the middle of pretty much nowhere, miles from any town. So we were surprised to find a full parking lot, with an overwhelming number of families picnicking and swimming in the river. A series of shallow falls with a rocky, walkable river is begging to be frolicked in by kids and adults alike. We spotted locals lounging in lawn chairs set directly in the shallow pools. A great way to cool off in the summer heat!

Alpena
We spent a rainy day just messing about in the big town of Alpena (pop. over 10k, the largest town in the area). We watched a movie at the local theater, went to the brand new Meijer store (woohoo!), sampled a local coffeehouse, perused a musty antique store and had ice cream at Culver’s. Alpena is mainly an industrial town: cement is big business here, as is limestone (one of the largest quarries in the world). So we were surprised to find a college, a thriving downtown and a busy business district - pretty much everything you need is right here. Plus, Alpena is set on Thunder Bay, its marshy wetlands threaded with acres of water trails, ideal for kayaking. Except it’s raining. Maybe next time.

Thunder Bay Marine Sanctuary
Our drizzly day was a perfect time to visit the Thunder Bay Marine Sanctuary in Alpena. NOAA and the State of Michigan jointly operate this unique sanctuary whose purview combines salvage and display of local marine artifacts in a museum, as well as in-water preservation of the amazing number of shipwrecks in Thunder Bay.

Also known as “Shipwreck Alley”, this 4300-sq-mile area of Lake Huron, now an underwater preserve, was a standard route for freighters and sailing ships plying the Great Lakes. Over 200 ships have foundered in this bay, notorious for severe storms and rocky shoals, many of which are lying in such shallow waters as to be accessible by kayakers, divers and snorkelers. The museum offers glass-bottom-boat tours of several shipwrecks close to shore. This would have been a cool side trip, but the boats weren’t operating that day - too yucky outside. You don’t want your shipwreck tour to become a shipwreck itself!

Museum
The museum displays hundreds of interesting artifacts. My favorite were the ships logs detailing things like watch changes, ship speeds, storm conditions, one even had a cross-section sketch of the freighter hold and its contents: trade goods like iron ore, fish, copper, bricks. We learned about typical maritime shipping lanes through the Erie Canal into the Great Lakes; Brian operated a digital, simulated underwater rover; we read about the various types of schooners and brigs up to modern day freighters and why they foundered… storms, groundings, engine fires, ice, fog, even head on collisions with other boats. Back then, it was not uncommon for shipping barons to force the sail of boats into November, the notoriously worst weather month of the year here, to get one last shipment in before the lakes are overwhelmed with ice. Lives lost unnecessarily as a result.

That Damn Erie Canal
On a lighter note, the least desirable thing about this museum is their music. In one section, the repeated playing of old Erie Canal song, known as “Low Bridge” covered by (I think) Bruce Springsteen, was… (I’ll try to be nice here) excessive. OK, I wanted to pull my hair out. This very short song was repeated over the overly loud speakers, again and again and again… back-to-back. Maybe they don’t WANT you to stay in this section and read everything because I could barely concentrate due to Bruce’s broken record. I couldn’t get that damn song out of my head for DAYS after we left:
I've got an old mule and her name is Sal, Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal
She's a good old worker and a good old pal, Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal…
Low bridge, everybody down
Low bridge cause we're coming to a town…

And now YOU have it in YOUR head.  J You can hate me later.

To be honest, part of my irritation was attributed to a set of very obnoxious grandparents guiding their obviously uncaring grandchild through our same section. Grandma loudly proclaimed her interest at each display trying in vain to entice the kid, “Oooh Johnny, look at this cool ship replica”. Then she would read the text to him. At full volume. ‘Cause Johnny wasn’t right next to her looking at the ship;  Johnny was running all over the tight corridor, completely distracted and not listening anyway. Seriously Grandma? Anyway, except for Grandma (hopefully she’s not a regular) and Bruce (unfortunately, he IS), for those interested in maritime history, this museum is a must-see.

Oscoda
The Au Sable River runs nearly 140 miles across the upper portion of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula, dispersing into Lake Huron at the small town of Oscoda. Due to its sandy bottom and easily navigable waters, the Au Sable is an ideal canoeing and kayaking river. In fact, we’d just missed the yearly Au Sable River Canoe Marathon. Running 120 miles of this river, pro canoeists paddle throughout the night and into the following day. Sounds fun!

River Running
We decided on a half-day canoe trip from Oscoda Canoe Rental, gliding along this beautiful river under threat of thunderstorm which thankfully never transpired. The current was just strong enough to do most of the work - we really only needed to steer. The first half of our 4-hour trip meandered slowly through the undeveloped Manistee National Forest. No houses, no people…just us and the clear, clean water and the wild woods. Perfect. Then we got to the second half.

Drunken Tubers
As we rounded a corner, we heard people (ugh) and knew it must be OUR halfway point because suddenly dozens of tubers and canoers and kayakers were putting in their floatation devices for their 2-hour tour. From here on out it was summer mayhem as we were accompanied by drunken tubers and shrieking teens. One troupe of giggling, teenage cheerleaders traveling in over 20 canoes stopped at a sandy beach to swim and splash and squeal, performing cheerleading flips & playing chicken on each other shoulders in the water. Ummm, yeah, it was quite the spectacle.

​Another group’s member was drunkenly singing that “Hole in the Bottom of the Sea” song. You know the one: “Theeeeere's aaaaaa….wart on the frog, on the bump on the log, in the hole at the bottom of the seaaaaaa.” Mr. Opera was actually pretty funny the first few verses…singing with a deep vibrato, conducting crazily with his arms, trying unsuccessfully to coax his drunk friends into joining him. Eventually, after WAY too many verses, well, it just wasn’t funny anymore. Come on buddy, move along…

Lumberman’s Monument
Just 20 miles west of Oscoda, is an interesting memorial to the under-appreciated Lumberjack. Michigan led the lumber industry in the late 1800’s. And the wide Au Sable River was used as a watery highway to float millions of pine logs to Lake Huron for processing and ship transport. This Federal park honors the men who plied this river, cutting trees, shaving branches, rolling them from a clifftop down into the water, poling them down river, breaking up log jams and delivering the product to sawmills. Educational signs in the park describe the grueling work and living conditions. I talked about trees earlier…upper Michigan has no shortage of trees. Now. But what I didn’t know… most of those trees are new, 60-90 years old. The harvest of millions of pine trees, fires and flooding devastated the tree population in the late 1800’s. But during the Depression, the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) made a gargantuan effort to replenish the forest, planting over a HALF A BILLION pine trees!

Tawas City
This time we stayed at Tawas State Park. With one calmer, bayside beach in Tawas Bay and a second, wider beach on Lake Huron, plus another lighthouse on site protecting the peninsula, this was a busy, yet pleasant campground. The beaches are sandy here, as opposed to rockier farther north. So sandy in fact, the Tawas Point lighthouse had to be replaced due to shifting peninsula sands, closing the original off from Lake Huron an entire mile from shore in less than 30 years, rendering it useless.

After a delicious breakfast at the Whitetail Café, a local diner in downtown East Tawas, we walked out to the marina. Of course. I think we’ve walked the marinas of darn near every town along the entire northern coast. Ludington, Manistee, Leland, Northport, Suttons Bay, Charlevoix, Petoskey, Cheboygan, Rogers City and now Tawas. Are we weird or what?

Pinconning. Cheese. Please.
Next we stopped in Pinconning for cheese. Duh. Pinconning is a town AND a type of cheese. These are several cheeseries here, so when you go through Pinconning, it’s a like a requirement to buy Pinconning cheese, or you get fined, or something. I don’t know, but that’s what I told Brian and he seemed to buy it. Or maybe he wasn’t listening. Either way, I win. Cheese for me.

Also in Pinconning is the Northwoods Wholesale Outlet. Basically, this is like going to Bass Pro Shop… except it’s bargain-basement-time. Housed in a cluttered warehouse, this place has great discount prices for camping, boating, hiking, fishing and hunting gear. It’s so big, we strolled around for over an hour and didn’t go down every aisle. From kayaks to deer blinds to fishing gear to cheap jeans to RV accessories to grilling tools, this bargain outdoorsman extravaganza has it all.

Bay City
We really got our money’s worth out of that $11 Michigan State Park sticker. Bay City State Park is the 14th Michigan State Park that we have either stayed at or visited (lunched, hiked or just drove through to check it out) in the last 3 weeks. Whew. Bay City State Park is an overlooked campground situated on Lake Huron and only a few miles from the city. We did not make a reservation. So when we arrived, I asked for the list of open sites so we could go in and take our pick. She handed me a list of over 100 open sites! Really? It’s prime camping season and all the other State Campgrounds are nearly full, if not fully full. What’s the deal here? The sites are big, flat, not too buggy, and the bathrooms were the cleanest we’d ever seen! Close to town, yet still secluded, it was within walking distance from the beach and hiking trails with the most wildlife I’d seen all summer. Go here.

USS Edson
One of the few things to do in Bay City is visit the USS Edson, a Vietnam-era Naval destroyer. Launched in 1958, it is one of only a few Navy ships named after a U.S. Marine. Can I have a Woot! Woot! The cool thing about this 418ft-long, 45ft-beamed, 22ft-drafted destroyer is that the depths are open for inspection. We rooted around in the bowels of the boat for 2 hours, traipsing on metal catwalks, poking around the steam turbines, torpedo bays, crews quarters and top secret comms room so old school they had typewriters! On deck, we saw the big gun turrets, mess hall, captain’s quarters, the darkened electronics room and control bridge. After our visit, we talked with the guy responsible for this floating treasure. Working long hours, he keeps this museum open & coordinates volunteers to upkeep the ever-deteriorating ship, relentlessly attacked by the elements. If you get a chance, please go support this piece of history.

The End of the Road
From here, we ended our trip as we began, by visiting family members. Another ½ hour south is Saginaw, where we stayed with my relatives. We had a very nice evening reconnecting and seeing some of the sights in nearby Midland. At this point, we’d been travelling for 3 weeks were pretty much tired. While we were extremely happy with our van, V-Ger, and its voyaging capabilities, we looked forward to vegging out. Our job for the next week was to babysit my niece-cats. Yep, that’s right, we were charged with housesitting (but mainly cat-sitting) for my brother and his wife while they went on vacation. Excited to pretend we lived in a real house by ourselves… with reliable internet (and Playstation for Brian)… for a whole week? You betcha!
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Pure Michigan: Summer Camp, Cherries, Wilderness

9/26/2016

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Picture
Duck Lake at Interlochen State Park
Interlochen
We stayed 2 nights at Interlochen State Park, situated between two sandy inland lakes and centrally located about a ½ hour south of Traverse City. But in the wider world, Interlochen is known as a musical mecca. Across the street within walking distance from our park, is Interlochen Center for the Arts. THIS is where the brilliant children go to master their craft.

Interlochen Center for the Arts
Each summer, over 2500 students flock to Interlochen summer camps. These talented teenagers come from all over the nation, and even the world, to stay and play… literally. Mastering musical instruments or crooning choral medleys is just scratching the surface. There are also programs in dance, media & visual arts, writing, theater performance & production, even motion picture arts.

In teaching fine arts, performances must follow. So Interlochen hosts hundreds of concerts and events each year. Take your pick from choir concerts, symphony bands, film screenings, dance troupes, plays, jazz ensembles, individual recitals, screenplay readings and art exhibits. While the majority showcases students and faculty, some are professional concerts or plays (The New York Philharmonic is an example), and many are free to the public.

It’s Summer Camp!
Lucky for us, this is Summer Camp Season! We walked over to the spacious campus and watched the sea of giggling teens in their ubiquitous uniforms, light blue tops/dark blue bottoms (here, knickers are still in vogue), toting black instrument cases from rustic stone cabins to vast, outdoor rehearsal halls. The kids were just finishing up a multi-week musical camp. It was the last day and performances were going on in every venue. We watched a symphony rehearsal for a while, then found a recital for kid composers. We witnessed about 20 very different musical pieces; some were solos, some ensembles of 3-5, incorporating piano, string, wind and brass instruments. The cool thing is that these complex pieces were performed by AND composed by 16-17-yr-olds! Amazing. We then meandered on over to another venue where we found an excellent jazz ensemble playing the music of Duke Ellington. Overall, we were impressed by not only the talent of these kids, but their studious demeanor. With the opportunity to attend such a prestigious camp, you’d better be willing to put in the effort. Maybe there’s hope for the world after all!

Traverse City
We skipped downtown due to another crazy farmers market traffic jam and headed up the skinny Old Mission Peninsula to see the Mission Point Lighthouse. After lunch, we wound our way back to a… mall? Who cares? Well, this is a…unique…mall. Yes, this massive former mental institution had closed and deteriorated over time, but some guy had a bright idea to preserve the imposing structure and turn it into retail shops, small business studios and senior apartments – splendid! Now known as The Village at Grand Traverse Commons (bit too long a name don’t you think?) the complex consists of several buildings and a large green space to host festivals and concerts. Tidy, upscale shops line its warm, wine-cellary, brick-walled basement. Interspersed are old photos depicting the hospital’s interesting history. But the first floor still retains that clinical feeling with stark tile and double-wide swing doors, plus the dark stairwells are a liiiittle creepy. But it’s a good start to reviving this historic, one-of-a-kind structure. Worth a stop to support the preservation efforts.

Cherries. It’s what’s for dinner.
And it’s what this entire area is known for, Traverse City being the home of the Cherry Festival which attracts half a million visitors who eat massive loads of the delicious red goodness. So I have been consuming cherries like it’s going out of style… stopping at roadside stands, chopping them into salads, buying cherry goodies at local bakeries and…then there’s cherry pie everywhere!

Friske
Enter Friske Orchards just outside the village of Charlevoix. As they say, they’re “not your average fruit stand”. No they are not. They produce the BEST. CHERRY. PIE. EVER. We stopped here because they participate in Harvest Host, a national network of farms & wineries that offer free one-night stays in return for an on-your-honor purchase of their wares. (You must be completely self-sufficient -- no electric hookups, water or restrooms.) Since we are members, we decided to try it and had our best overnight stay of the trip. We parked the van out back near the apple orchard and spent a quiet evening in a field completely by ourselves. Nice.

In return for this spot to park, we bought 2 apple fritters, a bag of fresh cherries, a pint of blueberries and a ½ cherry pie. Why ½? Well, it wasn’t cheap. And I was like, why do we need a whole pie, we’ll just eat it. Right? You know what I’m saying. But after our first bite, I was seriously contemplating throwing open the door and running back to the store before they closed for the night. OMG it was literally the best pie we have ever eaten. But alas, I restrained myself, for our health’s sake and my pocketbook (a whole pie was $22.) Big mistake. Big. Huge! I regret not snatching up that 2nd pie. Every. Day.

Charlevoix
OK, onto Charlevoix which I think is the cutest town we’ve visited thus far. After lunch downtown, we watched the boats line up along the channel waiting for the drawbridge to open, allowing them all into Lake Charlevoix. Whew, I would NOT want to have a boat here. These guys were practically playing bumper cars waiting in a skinny canal, working to remain in the same precarious position with the wind whipping up, choppy waves barreling down the waterway, pushing them ever closer to the closed bridge. Yikes.

Mushroom Houses
Charlevoix is also the home of the mushroom houses. What’s a mushroom house? Built by architect Earl Young, these homes look like they were specifically made for giant hobbits, utilizing large boulders and topped with undulating cedar shake roofs. My photo is not that great, so look online for better pics. I wish we could have sneaked a peek inside, the use of gigantic fieldstone is supposed to be amazing.

Burt Lake
Lunch stop at Burt Lake State Park. For years I’d talked this place up as nirvana, wanting to show Brian where as a kid we’d regularly go camping with my parents and grandparents. I remember the camp sites right up against the water, puttering around in grandpa’s little aluminum boat, swimming in the sandy shallow lake and playing on the beach all day. Good times.
​
An Old Friend
To my surprise though, as I walked up to the beach, I recognized an old, familiar friend. The vintage aluminum playground slide. Oh my gosh! I remember this! It HAS to be the same one! Those sturdy, cast iron steps. Those handrails made of what looks like plumbing pipe, worn smooth from thousands of little hands shimmying to the top. The sliding sheet metal is now shiny silver from so many sandy little bums gleefully skimming down her slick surface. Still standing after all these many, many years (and no I don’t want to count them). I’ve slipped down this slide hundreds of times. SO, of course, I HAD to go for a ride…one more time. But as I climbed to the top, unexpected tears flowed. I paused a minute, with emotional reverence for a pretty awesome childhood and remembering my grandma who used to watch me on this very slide. Here’s to you grandma. Whooooo!

Mackinaw City
This was our mid-trip rest-stop. We met my parents for a little family camping at Wilderness State Park located on the western tip of the mitten’s middle finger. Just 7 miles from Mackinaw City, this park has great access to the Mackinaw Bridge, lighthouses, Lake Michigan and Mackinaw Island. For the nature-lover, it’s an amazing boating, swimming, hiking and rock hounding destination. Since we’d been to Mackinaw several times, we laid low these four days. But we did venture into town one day in search of the popular & delicious treats of pasties & fudge, as well as my one souvenir t-shirt of the trip. (Where am I gonna put more? I live in a VAN people.) On other days, we visited the McGulpin Point Lighthouse with a view of the Mackinaw Bridge, hiked for miles through peaceful pine forest and searched for Petoskey stone fossils in Lake Michigan for hours.

Dark Sky
On our last day we drove nearby to the Headlands International Dark Sky Park. Situated along a wild and rocky section of Lake Michigan shoreline, this unique park was built specifically for stargazing. Devoid of people and therefore light pollution, it’s the perfect place to view the Northern Lights, Milky Way and meteor showers. The park is still under construction, hard at work on an events center featuring an observation telescope. So the only way to view the sky here, for now, is to walk a 1-mile trail through thick forest to the Lake where benches are available to sit and marvel at the night sky. We went during the day to check it out, but weren’t willing to hike it in the evening.

Meteor Missile!
Instead, we drove to the small boat ramp at Wilderness State Park, only a few miles away, to try to view the Perseid meteor showers. Except we were there a day early (leaving the following day), so sightings were sparse. In total, after two hours, we only saw four meteors. While everyone else spotted little shooting stars…the one I saw was a like a shooting planet. Seriously, the flare was so big it looked like a missile; maybe we’re being attacked by Wisconsin! Is it because I said you didn’t look like a mitten? Of course, everyone else was either distracted or looking in the wrong direction… so no one can corroborate my story. What? How did you not SEE that!?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stay tuned for the 3rd and final part of our trip…​
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Pure Michigan: Sand Dunes, Lake Michigan, Leelanau

9/19/2016

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Picture
Sleeping Bear Dunes
Up North = Pentwater to Pinconning
From the towns of Pentwater to Pinconning, an imaginary line extends across the upper 1/3 of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula; once you’ve crossed that line, you’re “up north”. Above this latitude exists, arguably, the most beautiful areas of the state. It most definitely IS the least populated, due to its long, harsh winters and lack of amenities (like Starbucks). But mild summertime temps and extensive outdoor activities attracts tourists and lake house property-seekers from the “south” (meaning Detroit, Lansing and Grand Rapids) by the hordes.

This Northwoods tranquility evokes the sort of vibe that leads to reclining (or napping) in a hammock with a good book; drinking beer with friends or family in front of a campfire while roasting marshmallows; jumping off the end of the dock into clear, cool lake-water; stargazing on the beach; paddling or tubing down a lazy, sandy-bottomed river. Where time slows to a crawl, schedules go right out the window and going for a hike always seems to be a better idea than shopping. But can’t you do that anywhere? Nope. It’s not the same. Just listen to “Michigan and Again” by the Accidentals. You’ll get the idea. This tune intones the magic of “Pure Michigan”, the state marketing slogan.

I know I’m “up north” when…
I start seeing fish mailboxes. And if you don’t know what a fish mailbox is, please, just google it. Other dead giveaways:
  • tree stump statues carved with a chainsaw, usually into a bear…
  • cute little wooden signs at the head of every driveway personifying their lake cottages (or mansions) as “Higgins Hollow” or “Perch Paradise”…
  • every other car on the road is a 5th wheel or trailer heading to or from a week of camping “up north”…
  • farm stands offering freshly picked blueberries, cherries, sweet corn, smoked coho salmon and baked goodies (just leave your money in the tin can)…
  • log cabin, lumberjack or fish references in every restaurant name…
  • and miles and miles of densely forested landscape polka-dotted with bass boat-filled lakes. With 3288 miles of Great Lakes shoreline (more coastline than any other state, barring Alaska) and over 11,000 inland lakes, statistically you cannot go more than 6 miles without running into water.
The Mitten
The state of Michigan looks like a right hand (at least the lower portion), complete with a “thumb”, a “middle finger” and a “pinky”. This “mitten” identification is supremely irritating to Wisconsinites who erroneously believe their state is more in the shape of a mitten (except your “thumb” looks like Skeletor’s index finger). If you ask a Michigander where they live, and you are unfamiliar with the town, they’ll immediately indicate the location by pointing to a spot on their open right hand. We just can’t help it.

The Start
It had been years since I’d gone camping Up North as a kid and Brian never had been to either side of the upper Lower Peninsula. So we planned a 3 week excursion in V-Ger the voyaging van, in between visiting our parents and family in the lower Lower Peninsula. So… onwards and upwards to fish mailbox country.

Pentwater
First stop: Pentwater State Park. We ate lunch in the van overlooking sparkling Lake Michigan (one of the benefits of touring around in your house). We did a “drive-by” but didn’t stop downtown because of a farmer’s market resulting in NO parking. Oh well. We did stroll along the breakwater and harbor entrance lined with cute vacation homes and B&B’s heading to Pentwater Lake.

Ludington
Next up, Ludington State Park. This place is one of the most sought after campgrounds in the state, typically booked 6 months in advance. With 5000 acres, there’s a lot of nature to explore: 21 miles of hiking trails, some of which are specifically designed for biking and cross country skiing; canoeing and fishing in Hamlin Lake; swimming in Lake Michigan; tubing down the Big Sable River; round that off with a nature center and the Big Sable Lighthouse… you need a few days to soak it all in.

Since I can’t plan that far ahead to get a site, I wanted to at least visit. On this sultry 90-degree day, the beach parking lot was filled and cars lined the dunesfront drive. So we veered away from the hundreds of beachgoers and hiked instead. I would have liked to visit the lighthouse, but it’s one of the few that isn’t accessible by car…hiking 3.6 miles (yup, 1.8 in & 1.8 out) is your only option. Hmmm. We weren’t game for that much of a hike so late in the afternoon. So instead, we found ourselves rambling through the peaceful sand dune forest without witnessing a single soul. Much better idea. Although we probably ended up hiking well over 2 miles in the dunes… (but what Brian doesn’t know won’t hurt him!) After schlepping up and down boardwalk stairs in the heat, we enviously watched the tubers float down the river towards Lake Michigan. Shoulda gone tubin’!

Manistee
We stayed for two nights at Orchard Beach State Park, ideally located close to Manistee and situated on a cliff overlooking Lake Michigan. The sunset views here are unbeatable. “Beach access” is via a steep, cliff-side stairway terminating into a scrubby stretch of beach. Sharp little rocks line the immediate coastline here but your reward for a little abrasion and rock slime is hard-packed sand in stand-upable, waist-deep water just 20 feet offshore. Plus, no stingrays to worry about stepping on! After much goading, wheedling & nagging, I finally convinced Brian into taking the plunge into the cool, clear waters. Chicken!

Manistee is a picturesque little seaside village boasting a 1.75-mile Riverwalk, extending from Manistee Lake past the historic Victorian downtown shops and restaurants, out to a lovely, grassy park at the Lake Michigan breakwater. We enjoyed walking much of this peaceful and non-touristy boardwalk lined with flowerbeds, shrubbery, beautiful trees and of course, lots of boat slips!

Silver Lake
This is the home of the Mack Dune Rides. A portion of these wild and amazing sand dunes at Silver Lake have been set aside for ‘dune-ing’ enjoyment by personal ATVs, dirt bikes and open-air, 20-passenger, 4x4 vehicles with huge aircraft tires made for sand-running. We got to ride in the front seat of one of these trucks so we had expansive views of the surrounding land with Silver Lake on the one side and Lake Michigan on our other. As we raced up & down each sandy hill, slid around slippery curves and bounded over moguls, we all “Wheeee!”d our way to a spectacularly empty Lake Michigan beach. This was such a cool little side trip - I had initially decided against it, but made Brian turn around. (Bah, I’m a woman…I can change my mind!) Glad I did.

Sleeping Bear Dunes
Despite having been born in Michigan, even after living here over 20 years, Brian had never seen the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Shoreline. I had been here as a kid and felt he was missing out. It’s a definite must-see for any Michigan native or visitor alike, as it’s arguably the most beautiful region in the entire state.

The Legend of Sleeping Bear – as found on www.nps.gov
“Long ago, along the Wisconsin shoreline, a mother bear and her two cubs were driven into Lake Michigan by a raging forest fire. The bears swam for many hours, but eventually the cubs tired and lagged behind. Mother bear reached the shore and climbed to the top of a high bluff to watch and wait for her cubs. Too tired to continue, the cubs drowned within sight of the shore. The Great Spirit Manitou created two islands to mark the spot where the cubs disappeared and then created a solitary dune to represent the faithful mother bear.” The two island “cubs” are the Manitou Islands (North & South) and the high cliff “mother bear” dune is still visible.

The parks’ main lure is the 7-mile Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive which threads hiking trailheads and scenic overlooks, winding initially through beech-maple forest, opening up to expansive dune views. A short walk gets you to an observation deck built 450ft high above Lake Michigan on a spectacular bluff overlooking the warm and inviting shoreline. From the cliff edge, we can see tiiiny beings easily sliding down to the shore below…and then truuuudging back up those steeeep 450ft, ever so slooooowly. It looks like such a cool thing to do. Except I know better…

The Longest Hike
As a kid, we hiked a nearby trail for what felt like hours towards the lake, trudging through soft sand and fragrant juniper, buffalo berry and jack pine. “It’s just over that next bluff, I can smell the water”, my dad said. The next hill came and went and still no water. And…again. And…again. “No really, I know we’re close.” Finally we get to Lake Michigan. Except it’s 400ft down (just like this overlook). And at a 60-degree angle (just like this overlook). Shining up like a siren from below, my dad couldn’t help it…he went down the slope… well, slid really. Mom and I waited. And waited. And waited. It’s so steep you can’t see the bottom in some areas so for awhile we couldn’t see him. We waited and waited some more. Well over an hour later, he finally heaves himself back up, exhausted…and we still have to slog all the way back to the car. Yeah. I remember that, and I’m not going down there.

See, going down is the fun part. Whoohoo!  Run, run, run! Or more likely, slide on your butt. But… they say, if you go down, expect to take at least 1-2 hours of trudging in soft sand to get back up. Take one step up, slide down a ½-step or ¾-step. People are apparently rescued all the time because they underestimate just how HARD it is. At the above particular overlook along the Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive, lots of people do this very thing (despite the discouraging warning signs). We didn’t. It was uber-hot that day and I didn’t want to spend 2 hours climbing. So we left it to the uber-crazies.

Not uber-crazy, but mildly-crazy?
Brian would say right here “Wait…YOU are the crazy one because you made me do The Dune Climb that same day!" OK, that’s true. The climb down to the water would have been excruciating in that heat. The angle was very steep and the sand swallowed up your entire foot with each step. I knew we were not up to THAT task. But we HAD to climb a dune. I mean, what the heck were we DOING here if we didn’t, at a minimum, perform the requisite DUNE CLIMB. EVERYbody’s doin’ it.

The Dune Climb
The Dune Climb is an easily accessible, not horribly steep, dune with slightly more compacted sand, where EVERYBODY who wimps out on the Lake climb goes to climb a dune to say you’ve done it. 2-year-olds do it. Pregnant women do it. Old men do it. Because that’s what you DO. But no one realizes just how much it’s still going to kick your a** until you’re in the middle of the hill. I witnessed overweight women and thoroughly fit women alike, stopping at every other step, longingly looking up to the top, swearing and shaking their head. One very athletic woman (not me) said, “I thought I was in decent shape”. Yeah, I hear ya.

So of course it’s hot. And we are both dying. And the sand is burning our bare feet. And it takes forever to get to the top and Brian is mostly-fake-whining the entire way just to make it plain that this here 1-step up/½-step back scenario is all my doing. Finally, we get to the top and the view is amazing. So totally worth the effort and severe dehydration. Brian: “Don’t listen to her…run away.” Then I wanted to continue over to the next bluff; Brian did not. Me: “But I think we can see Lake Michigan from that dune over there…” Hmmm…like father like daughter. Brian: Puts foot down. Party pooper. So we both ran back down the dune to the parking lot like little kids (OK, I did) and downed an entire Gatorade in seconds. Dune climb… check.

We could have spent more time here but the campgrounds were packed and I had an agenda. This place is a hiking and biking dreamsicle in summer. Nearby, paved bike trails run for miles and sandy hiking trails meander along bluffs and into the forest. Next time, I’d like to canoe or kayak down the Platte River and do some more hiking. Autumn would be a beautiful time to explore this area.

Funny story.
Part of the Sleeping Bear Dunes is the Glen Haven Maritime Museum and Lifesaving Station. You know, the kind that used open whaling boats trolled out to sea with a line and reeled back in once the rescued were on board. Most wrecks here happened close to shore, so connecting the boat to the station with a long rope actually worked much of the time. Anyway, I was walking down the wooden boardwalk to the beach and noted the last step was nearly covered in blowing sand. I even TOLD Brian to watch his step. After taking pictures, do ya THINK I’d remember my own advice just one minute ago? NOOO. Headed back up the stairs, that first sand-covered step reared up out of nowhere, I tripped and took a nose dive…elbow-first.

It was one of those slo-mo moments when you instantly think…someone is probably taping this and I’ll end up on YouTube tomorrow. Of course, I instinctively protected my expensive camera by cradling it in my right hand…landing full force on my elbow. Touchdown! Fortunately for me, I landed in fluffy sand. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure my elbow would be broken. But I DID manage to gouge out said elbow real good and blood started pouring. It took me 10 minutes to wash all the sand out of my raw skin. Fun stuff. Luckily, this was the only casualty the entire trip.

Glen Arbor
Shocked, shocked, shocked at the amount of tourists swarming in this TINY town. We had lunch and ran through The Cherry Republic store which sells all things cherry…cherry salsa, chocolate cherries, cherry wine… and cherry pie (which I HAD to take home for later).

Leland
Even more shocked at even more tourists clamoring all over the dinky hamlet of Leland, one of the only working commercial fishing villages still in existence in Michigan. We had to park a ½ mile away and walk to downtown. Here at the mouth of the Leland River lies the historically preserved, miniature fishing village called Fishtown. Small fishing boats and grey, weathered wooden shanties linked by a crooked boardwalk hovering over the water on stilts, pays homage to what these commercial villages looked like over one hundred years ago. Except in addition to the fisherman and their catch, smokehouses and drying fishing nets… we stroll past several quaint shops in rustic, clapboard shacks selling cheese, wine, ice cream, art and “up north” decor. It’s really a cute place and a definite ‘must-stop’…but we were overloaded by the heat and the crowds and…well…we were just DONE. Time to get to the campground…

Leelanau
Our next campground was Leelanau State Park, situated at the tip of the Leelanau Peninsula; if you look at the Michigan outline, it’s the mitten’s “pinky”. The Grand Traverse Lighthouse is located on site. Despite its proximity to the Lake, campsites are nestled in thick woods and there’s not much of a beach – most of the shoreline is rocky marsh. This is a rustic campground, meaning NO electricity, no water and pit toilets. But with our solar panel, despite the 100% tree cover, we can still manage for a day, maybe two, without plugging in…a nice feeling. And you can’t beat $14 a night! With lots of open sites, this is a great place to go for serene seclusion.

Northport/Suttons Bay
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Travelling down the east side of the Leelanau Peninsula we walked through the charming town of Northport, strolled along the marina watching the boats, and purchased a loaf of delicious cherry breakfast bread from a local bakery. After a yummy lunch in the neighboring town of Suttons Bay, we did some wine tasting at French Valley Vineyards overlooking the Traverse Bay. If you like wine, come to the ‘Pinky’. With a wine trail of over 25 different wineries in the immediate area, wine aficionados go Loopy for Leelanau!

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​More trip to come...!​
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Southeast Sojourn - Part 2

9/10/2016

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Butterfly garden at Boone Hall Plantation, Charleston, SC
The Mighty Eighth Air Force Museum                        
This museum/memorial, celebrates the Mighty Eighth, a division of the Air Force, telling the story of WWII’s American bomber boys. These brave soldiers fought in B-17 Flying Fortresses and B-24 Liberator bombers at 25,000ft, tirelessly wreaking havoc on German defenses.

Resting in the middle of the museum is their prized piece, a restored B-17 Flying Fortress, the “City of Savannah”. Several other planes were on static display, including a Boeing Stearman, the bi-plane my grandfather flew as a flight instructor. Additional exhibits included a typical French home with secret attic space used as a safe-house for hiding downed airmen… as well as a POW camp detailing prison life for captured Allies forces. Examples of artifacts donated by former POWs include a blanket sewn from airmen patches and a Nazi flag signed by POWs after liberation. Pretty powerful stuff.

We learned these bomber boys stood only a one-in-five chance of surviving their standard tour of duty of twenty-five missions. 1:5. The loss numbers were astounding…and humbling when you consider it… As we meandered, two very old men slowly hobbled through the corridor with a granddaughter (my age) videotaping their witty commentary. These two friends were acutely familiar with the stories we were merely reading on paper; the photos and crewmen names meant something - they knew them. They lived it. And both miraculously survived their ‘one-in-five chance’ tours. One was a founder of this museum. We talked with them a bit and thanked them for their service. Wow. Just. Wow.

Charleston Tea Plantation          
I am addicted to iced tea. So when our friends told me about this place, it was top priority! The Charleston Tea Plantation is the only tea manufacturer that grows its own tea leaves here in America - everyone else imports their leaves. Expert tea taster and horticulturalist, Bill Hall, took advantage of Charleston’s optimal soil, temperature and rainfall for growing tea plants and founded the plantation in 1987. Now the company is associated with the big guys, Bigelow. For just $10 you can tour the manicured tea fields, the sapling greenhouse and learn how tea plants are grown & harvested. The best part? Free samples!

Firefly Distillery             
We are in love. With Firefly Apple Pie Moonshine.
Thirty minutes from Charleston and tucked in the middle of nowhere amongst the wooded, marshy, South Carolina low country is a little distillery you definitely need to visit. Even if you’re not a big fan of imbibing, the ambiance is worth a trip. It’s just quintessential south. Like fireflies in tinted Ball canning jars? Yes. Think super-cool, wood-barn tasting room, twinkling white Christmas lights, picnic tables, and laid-back, warm summer afternoons set in the midst of grape vines and iconic live oak trees draped in… (Haven’t you been paying attention? We’re in the south!)…more frilly Spanish moss.

Saturdays offer live music and a delicious pulled pork food truck. Then choose your poison: wine-tasting from Deep Water Vineyards or spirits-tasting from Firefly…or both. Firefly is known for being the first to make Sweet Tea Vodka made from actual tea (from the Charleston Tea Plantation of course); and it’s delish. But our fav was the Apple Pie Moonshine. Mix it with the Caramel Shine and you get… Caramel Apple Pie. To. Die. For.

Boone Hall Plantation
One item on my agenda was to visit a real plantation house. And Charleston has several to choose from… Brian wouldn’t hear of going to more than one (the tea planation did not count since there isn’t a house). While most of the original civil-war-era plantation houses no longer exist, many were rebuilt in a similar grand style. So, despite the fact that this plantation has remarkably existed since 1681, the Colonial Revival mansion itself was built in 1936 by a Canadian Ambassador.

The famous Avenue of Oaks is reason enough to visit this landmark. The long, scenic driveway lined with nearly one hundred, 150-yr-old trees, is long-vaunted as the one shown in Gone with the Wind leading up to Tara…as a photograph, not a live shot. But the miniseries North and South as well as scenes from The Notebook were filmed in this dramatic southern setting, dripping with…you guessed it…Spanish moss.

Set aside about 3 hours to leisurely meander the grounds and do the tours, all of which are included in the fee. A guided tour of the first floor includes the formal dining room with imported antique wooden table, ceiling-high mirrors and fine china, a library with vintage tomes lining bookshelves with doors uniquely shielded in chicken-wire (to allow air flow and keep humidity at bay), and the charming sun room with its unique brick floor. Unfortunately, taking photos of the interior is a no-no.

Next, get on a 700-acre motorized tour and learn about current farming techniques and the former brick-making business. Visit the enclosed butterfly garden and watch graceful Monarchs flit about (my personal favorite). View a presentation about the Gullah culture and see preserved slave quarters showcasing period relics. Stroll the rose garden and marvel at beautiful blooms… 100-yr-old pink roses, bright orange daylilies and sleek black petunias.

In addition to maintaining the house and immediate grounds as a historical museum, Boone Hall is still a working plantation. Having continuously grown crops for over 300 years, they are one of the oldest farms in America and use their massive acreage to its fullest potential. Boone Hall Farms is their adjacent farmer’s market which sells all manner of fruits and veges grown on site. Dozens of local restaurants feature their fresh produce in farm-to-table menus. An intricate corn maze is professionally designed by a different sponsor each fall for their Halloween pumpkin patch. Locals flock to U-Pick patches of strawberries, blueberries, even tomatoes.

Oozing romantic, southern charm, Boone Hall is an unforgettable venue for weddings, concerts and corporate events. With enormous swaths of lush, grassy fields they also host festivals: the Oyster Festival, a Strawberry Fest, the Taste of Charleston, even a Zombie run! Their largest event is the annual Scottish Games, enticing over 6,000 people from all over the world to watch Highland Dancing, Conan-style athletic competitions (cool stuff like axe-throwing and log-lifting) and, of course, bagpippery (yes, I just made up that word). These days, Boone Hall does so much more than just conserving their museum status; they are intricately woven into the identity of this small north-Charleston community.

Myrtle Beach, Land of Mini-Golf and Campground Resorts
After Charleston, we cruised through Myrtle Beach, and gazed at our surroundings partly awestruck but mostly unimpressed. This budget vacation haven just seems like row after row of cheap hotels and bars lining the oceanfront drive with tourists galore stuffing the beach. But we only spent a couple hours here, so who knows, maybe we were missing something cool.

However, MB is clearly the mini-golf capital of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I love mini-golf (Brian wouldn’t stop to play). But just how many putt-putts does one city need? 50 apparently. Literally. FIFTY. And must ALL the fountains throughout town run with toilet-bowl-cleaner-electric-blue-tinted water? Is this normal, or a cruel prank? (And I thought St. Augustine was a tiny bit cheesy. That was nothing!)

We toured a campground right on the beach because their website stated it had 900 campsites. I thought it was a misprint - it wasn’t. Incredibly, there ARE 900-some campsites and we were shocked to see the place was nearly full. Multiply 900 x 2, 3 or 4 people per site? The potential numbers are astounding. And sites are so tightly packed you can hear your neighbor chewing gum. This ‘resort campground’ mini-city included a restaurant, waterpark and pool on a mile of beachfront; it even had an on-site RV repair shop and a hotel-style guarded entrance with concierge who only gave us a 1 hour lookey-loo pass. Like a mini-‘The Villages’, golf carts rule here. There must be hundreds, veering around the miniature streets and lining the beach-front like sardines. People enjoy this place for its amenities, incredible access to the beach and kids can run around like chickens, but this circus is NOT our cup of tea. Especially for an outrageous $80 a day. Pass.

The Rest of the Story
So we skipped hectic Myrtle Beach and stayed at the quieter Carolina Beach State Park near Wilmington, NC. This is a nice state park on the Cape Fear River with great boating, fishing and paddle-boarding, new electric sites and beautiful hiking in a sandy pine forest. Highly recommended.

​After that we had a great time visiting Brian’s other aunt and more cousins for a few days in New Bern, NC. Heading back home to Michigan, we stopped briefly in Ohio to visit a couple friends we hadn’t seen in many, many years. But we had to get back by a certain date. Why? Guns and Roses! Brian got in some overdue brotherly bonding time at this concert in Detroit with his brother Matt. But do you think he’d take a picture for my blog? Bah! 
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Southeast Sojourn - Part 1

9/4/2016

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Savannah!
​Our 3-week, 3000-mile southeast sojourn began in Atlanta, and in a really round-about way, ended in Michigan. After travelling south to The Okefenokee, our objective was to visit family in Orlando, FL and New Bern, NC with specific sightseeing goals in between along the coast. St. Augustine, Savannah and Charleston were three cities we’d always been curious about, often wondering if either would be an optimal choice for “settling down” in the (faraway) future.

St. Augustine, FL
Who doesn’t want to see the “oldest city in America”? In all honesty, this town is made for strolling but the heat and humidity were so bad those couple days, we just didn’t have enough oomph. So we bought Old Town Trolley tickets that allowed us to tour the town at our leisure with “hopping on-off” privileges. It was well worth the price due to the severe heat. And we learned a bit of city history from our drivers as we rode along. I really loved the small-town feel of St. Augustine. It wasn’t overly crowded with tourists or traffic, the back streets were quiet and quaint and well-kempt, the outskirts seemed placid and liveable - it felt like a really nice town to live in. But as a tourist, I was mildly disappointed in the tourist trappiness of all the separate “museums”.

Colonial History
I guess I assumed St. Augustine would somewhat emulate the same Colonial village style as Williamsburg or Jamestown. But St. Augustine cannot compete on such a grand scale as those, mostly because all their historic landmarks are downtown amongst other businesses, all owned and operated separately (I assume). At the Visitor’s Center we paid for entry into the Colonial Quarter, a very small area displaying colonial times exhibits following the history of St. Augustine. We paid extra to enter the old fort Castillo de San Marcos and witnessed a live cannon blast presentation complete with dressed-up Spaniard Militiamen.

How many Oldests are there?
St. Augustine was founded in 1565 and is the oldest continually occupied settlement in America. So I get it, it’s the oldest city…so everything is the “oldest”. We skipped the Old Jail, the Oldest Store, the Oldest Schoolhouse and the Oldest House. Each of these “oldest” (and tiny) buildings had a separate fee and, at an approx. extra $10pp PER “oldest”, it entered into the ridiculous. This isn’t Disneyland, right? Yeah, you could buy a higher priced Trolley ticket that included slightly discounted, all-inclusive passes, but it wasn’t cheap. I felt mildly hustled. Where was the Oldest Ice Cream Parlor? I’d have paid for that!

What? No Fountain of Youth?
Top that off with the Potter’s Wax Museum, a Ripley’s Believe it or Not, and a Pirate Museum. Everywhere we turned…another cheese-trap. I had wanted to see the Fountain of Youth. But, already over budget and consulting TripAdvisor (what would we do without TA?), I couldn’t tell if it was just another money grab. Do I want to pay heavily just to see a stupid fountain? Sigh. We are tourists on a budget so we didn’t go. In hindsight, we probably should have skipped the Colonial Quarter and went to the Fountain instead. Maybe next time.

Almost Free
Instead, we saw some pretty cool free stuff to balance out our spending spree. The beautiful Basilica Cathedral downtown is worth a peek. Wandering around the peaceful gardens and riverwalk of Mission de Nombre de Dios, a Catholic mission whose origin dates to 1565, was worth a small donation. And a self-tour of Flagler College is a must-do. This posh hotel-turned university is an excellent example of Spanish Architecture. Its dominant feature is the main hall foyer boasting stained glass and intricate mosaics designed by Tiffany (no, not the 80’s one-hit-wonder).  On another afternoon, we swam at the pristine and surprisingly uncrowded beach on Anastasia Island and toured the St. Augustine lighthouse and museum. The trip was not complete without taste-testing bourbon and gin at the St. Augustine Distillery (which by the way is now the #1 “Thing to Do” on TripAdvisor).

I love it here. So why can’t I live here?
We stayed at Anastasia Island State Park for only one night since it was booked solid. The beach here is awesome, but the adjacent campground is nestled in amongst lots of trees. Upon awaking, I spied a large spider making a web from a tree to my side mirror. I know, I know. One big, creepy spider - get over it. But as Brian made his way outside to “get it” for me, and then around the van to unplug our powercord, he found (nearly ran into) THREE more that had created LARGE webs overnight, perma-linking our van to the surrounding trees. Imagine this in a “compounding interest” sort of way…had we stayed for more than just one night…oh, the horror! Our house was quickly becoming enveloped into a gigantic spider cocoon…never to be seen or heard from again. Forget it. I’m out!

Surviving Colin
Leaving St. Augustine, Tropical Storm Colin was headed our way. As we arrived at the Savannah Visitors Center late in the afternoon, they were preparing to close early for the impending storm. It had rained all day and advisories for potential flooding were issued for that evening. This should be interesting. But we managed to get through with barely a scratch. The next day dawned cloudy but non-threatening - in the clear!

Oh Savannah
Savannah is one of those cities you don’t forget. Slow and sultry like a smooth jazz tenor, Savannah implies sophistication but isn’t overly snooty. It felt comfortable rambling along the quiet back streets, marveling at the countless historic (and pricey) Victorian homes, lounging on an ornate park bench in one of several peaceful neighborhood squares romantically bedecked with statues, fountains and moss-shrouded trees, watching as every-day America runs our gauntlet: the millennial joggers, the t-shirted tourists, the businessman and the horse-drawn buggy-man, the be-bopping teenagers and the purple-haired student-artists, the latte-sippers and the cell-phone yappers…all the while imagining this same idyllic scene in this same idyllic square 100 years ago (minus the Pokemon). We sit and listen to the relaxed vibe of a gentile city and we are content. Annapolis invokes in us this same feeling; we always said if we were forced to live downtown in a city, it would be Annapolis. I now include Savannah.

Georgia State Railroad Museum     
This was a very cool, uncrowded and inexpensive museum detailing Savannah railroad history. We spent two hours here and definitely got our money’s worth. Several impressive old railroad cars were on site awaiting or in process of restoration; we got a personal tour of two such cars. We both enjoyed the steam engine presentation and another where we got to help operate a real human-powered (double-levered) handcar. Brian loved seeing the antique foundry equipment, especially the giant metal drill press and The Buffalo Complete Woodworker, an all-in-one drill press, sander, router and planer. He was in heaven. 

Skidaway Island State Park    
We camped at Skidaway Island State Park in Savannah for four nights. And while the entire park is hidden under a tree-covered canopy, with no sunlight to be found, we had NO problems with bugs. Zero. They spray for mosquitos. The bathrooms were very clean. The sites were huge. They even had washer/dryer facilities. We LOVED this park. And there was hardly anyone in it. Too bad for them, but awesome for us.

Old Savannah Tours     
Again we bought tickets for an “on/off” trolley, this time from Old Savannah Tours. Because this city is pretty large, using the trolley was worth it. This particular trolley places character actors in certain spots along the route who jump on and give you a little dose of their particular history. We saw Forrest Gump on one occasion! Interesting note: our tour bus driver said he’d lived there for 40 years; but he wasn’t FROM there. Apparently, to be FROM Savannah, you had to have been BORN there.

The Pirate House                          
Built around 1753, this former inn & bar was a haven for grog-seeking pirates of yore. Tales are told of unconscious, drunken souls being shanghaied from The Pirate House, later awaking at sea to discover themselves pressed into service on a ship bound for Singapore or other far-flung port. Scenes from the book Treasure Island take place in Savannah and this very house, with Captain Flint dying upstairs. Nowadays, it’s a very popular restaurant that manages to retain that old swashbuckler feel, festooned with brass fixtures and wooden planked floors and trestle tables, without feeling too campy. Our lunch consisted of sumptuous southern comfort food: you got yer fried chicken, fried catfish, fried okra, biscuits, green beans, collard greens with bacon, black-eyed peas, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potato, peach cobbler. How can you go wrong with THAT menu?
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Tybee Island
One day, we ventured over to Tybee Island for a day at the beach. We opted for the northern beach which was less busy than the jam-packed Pier area. Needing to park in crowded paid lots twice that day, we were happy to be driving our van that can fit in a normal parking spot, rather than a big rig where we’d have to spend a half hour just to find a parking spot and THEN walk a mile to the objective. Winners.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil                      
Brian isn’t especially into the ghost tours that are hawked everywhere in Savannah. I was ambivalent - I’d already been on one here many years ago (it was pretty interesting). So searching for another free thing to do, I happened upon the Bonaventure Cemetery which is featured in the above book/movie, making both the city of Savannah and the cemetery legendary. (I’d never read the book, but it’s now on my list.) But Brian wasn’t overly thrilled with this choice of tourist activity. Who goes to a cemetery on vacation? Apparently a lot…it’s a thing. Heck, TripAdvisor says it’s cool (#4 of 204 of Things to Do in Savannah, can’t beat that), plus, did I mention it’s FREE? So zip it, we’re going.

Bonaventure wasn’t creepy at all (at least not in daylight!) but hauntingly beautiful. Now 170 years old, this former plantation consists of 100 acres of quiet, intersecting paths. We strolled among the beautiful old stones, some dating back to the late 1860’s during the Civil War. Several were interestingly marked with “CSA” veteran emblems (Confederate States of America). Many memorials involved huge granite monuments, carved statues and intricately fenced and flowered family plots.

The avenue of stately live oaks was impressive in their age and sheer massiveness, branches draped in veiled moss swaying mournfully in the breeze. The illustrious John Muir was so captivated during his visit, he devoted an entire chapter to this cemetery in 1867: “I gazed awe-stricken as one new-arrived from another world. Bonaventure is called a graveyard, a town of the dead, but the few graves are powerless in such a depth of life. The rippling of living waters, the song of birds, the joyous confidence of flowers, the calm, undisturbable grandeur of the oaks, mark this place of graves as one of the Lord’s most favored abodes of life and light." Agreed.

​To Be Continued…
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Okefenokee

8/22/2016

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Awww. Isn't he so cute and cuddly?
Altogether now... “O-key-fen-o-key”. Who doesn’t like to pronounce this word?

I always thought the Okefenokee Swamp was in Florida. I mean, Florida and swamp just go together… like shrimp and grits… or bacon and everything. Nope, that’s the Okeechobee, the Okefenokee Swamp is in southern Georgia, about as southern as you can get. Just 10 miles from the Florida border is Stephen C Foster State Park, smack dab in the middle of endless swampland considered as the headwaters of the Suwanee River. (Not to be confused with another Stephen Foster State Park in northern Florida).

Our first summer excursion in our van, “V-Ger”, was destined for this remote corner of Georgia, 700 square miles of wilderness wetlands wonder. With about 66 campsites, this small Georgia State park was packed. But according to the rangers, it’s typically empty all summer except for holiday weekends. Why so overlooked?

One hour to civilization
If you are looking for seclusion, look no further. An hour off highway 75 and the nearest grocery store, this park is on the way to nowhere. The nearest gas station is STILL 18 miles away. So prepare to be self-contained for the duration, lest you drive 2 hours just to find more hot dogs for that campfire. Nothing but swampland and trees and more swampland for miles and miles around. Internet? Forget it. Cell phone? Spotty to non-existent.

Lock-Down
This is the first time we’ve experienced a campground locking their gates at night. No in or out traffic after 10pm. And if you stay here, you should know…10pm means 10:00pm. How do we know? Dad and Terry raced to make the deadline and unfortunately missed it by literally 1 minute. The heavily fortified, automatic gate is 7 miles from the actual campground… no way in, no way out. Stuck sleeping in a truck on the side of an endless country road until dawn in the middle of nowhere with spotty cell phone service? Not happy campers! But they were not the first, nor will they be the last to set up camp outside those gates.

Bugs… GIANT Bugs
Bugs rule this land. Horse flies half the size of my hand, swarms of deer flies, invisible chiggers galore and… spiders. While boating, I put my paddle on a tree to keep from hitting it with the boat and startled a giant spider. I shrieked, of course, and suspiciously eyed all the other trees within arm’s reach as threatening and arachnid-infested. I overheard our camper neighbor as he described waking up to a ticking sound and, shining a flashlight onto the tree outside his tent, saw a huge spider crawling, its legs producing that hair-raising tick-tick-tick. Yeah, it was that big.  Ewwww. (Glad I wasn’t in a tent.) Our walk down the boardwalk nature trail was riddled with spiders menacingly hanging in the trees just beyond the rail perimeter – thank you to the brave rangers for clearing this pathway.

The bathhouse exterior was not immune to strange crawly things and moths and…what… there’s two walking sticks having “relations”, seriously, I’m not kidding. My only consolation was the dragonflies, which I am not afraid of… they were everywhere. Fortunately, no snakes. I wouldn’t have believed it - swamps usually equal snakes. Right? I mean, that’s like a rule or something. There used to be tons, according to a ranger, but they all moved away when people encroached. What people?

Chomping Chiggers
Despite several years living in the southeast and many extensive visits, we’d never been catastrophically bothered by chiggers. Unaware of this menace, we carelessly sported flipflops for two days before our feet, ankles and shins started to itch like crazy, riddled with pinhead-sized red welts. Chiggers do not embed themselves into their host (as commonly thought) but insert enzymes that destroy and harden skin into a feeding tube, hence the welt. And the ITCHING… I wanted to rip my feet off. Since we were a long way from nowhere, we put up with it for a night. Camping trip complete, we drove ‘til we found a Walmart and purchased a variety of itch treatments with not much luck.

Brian’s Floridian cousins, who are quite used to putting up with these vicious critters, diagnosed our maddening malady and suggested puppy flea shampoo (less medicated). So I spread it (undiluted) on our feet, waited 5-10 minutes and rinsed off (a couple times per day for several days). The medicated shampoo soothes and seems to soak into the sores, drying up the skin and, I guess, the enzyme. I don’t care how it worked, but it did. I could feel the medication tingling so it’s probably not a good idea to leave on very long or apply to children. Thank goodness after a couple treatments, the itch began to subside and we could sleep again. But the remnant, ghost itch didn’t quit for about two weeks. Ahhh… I love the outdoors/I hate the outdoors.

But don’t let spiders and chiggers stop you from coming here and enjoying this cool park. (Just wear tennis shoes and socks at all times.) I can put up with the bugs for a couple days to witness the beauty.

Swamp Skiffing in Water World
For our afternoon excursion, we rented an aluminum skiff. Some areas, like our campground, form higher ground consisting of hardwood trees and solid land… but for the most part, the water and swampland just go on forever. 120 miles of water trails branch out before us, actually marked by street signs, lest you get lost. It’s a perfect for paddling canoes or slowly motoring a small run-about down these lonesome canals in search of nature.

FairyLand
Surrounded by the peaceful hum of cicadas and a fresh “green” smell of moist earth and dewdrops, we entered another world. The tranquil water ahead showed a mirror image of majestic cypress trees… their giant, tented roots clinging to the water’s edge… their branches sprouting legions of grey-green Spanish moss that, when backed by sunlight, appeared as an angelic, glowing cloud. Locked in by lush green lily pads, guarded by gators, our watery path became narrower and narrower, quieter and quieter. We were literally in the middle of nowhere - a fairyland, with little gnomes hiding behind trees, water faeries basking atop white lilies, tinkerbells flitting amongst the moss-laden branches.

FireSwamp
Tall cypress eventually closed in high above, blocking all sunlight. My fairy wonderland faded into the forbidding FireSwamp. I felt just a liiittle toooo far away from civilization (the thought of our old, cranky motor quitting 4 miles away in the middle of a maze of channels was disconcerting), a liiittle toooo dense (not to mention spidery) and a touch creepy (with that backwoods “Deliverance” sort of feeling). These waterways are frequented by good ‘ole boys in plaid shirts and denim overalls, none too thrilled ‘bout us visitors gaming in on their good fishing holes. (Stereotypical? I personally witnessed multiple overalls.)

So we turned around and headed back into the dazzling sunlight, back to the fairyland. Glad the ranger reminded us to take our paddles, just in case of engine breakdown. Well, we needed them. The engine didn’t do so well in shallow water, cutting out several times. Plus, due to tidal outflow the current became a little stiffer. No real option for a nice slow puttering, the motor either went fast or really fast. Sliding around on the water, we had to pole ourselves out away from the close banks to keep from hitting trees (and scaring spiders) several times.

Outdoor Activities
Visitors love this place for its solitude and various outdoor activities: fishing, wildlife sightings, photography, birding, or for the enjoyment of being out on the calm waters. You can be ON the water. Just make sure not to go IN the water. Why? MOST people come here to see the alligators.

Alligator Alley
Gators thankfully did not favor lounging around in the enclosed and shaded tributaries but were visible in force along the main channel. Every so often we’d see one sticking his head out of the water, only his snout and eyes visible. Watching. Waiting. It was eerie. Yet cool. When we’d get close they’d slide below the surface without so much as a whisper. Don’t bother trying to glimpse them underwater, the silt level is too heavy. I’m probably better off NOT being able to see into the depths; there are 14,000 in this swamp alone. If we were eaten by a gator, would anyone know? Doubt it.

Birder Heaven
This park is paradise for birders. On our travels down the waterway we noted cranes and egrets and owls perched along the shoreline. One massive tree was filled to the brim with hundreds of roosting white egrets, appearing as a Christmas Tree decorated in bits of white marshmallow fluff. Pondering those that roost near the waters’ edge, we’ve awarded them a class yearbook moniker “most likely to get gator-snatched”. Alligators can, according to the wise “internet”, jump up to 6 feet in the air and run 35 mph (in short bursts)!

Night Gator Viewing
It seems that even when we travel on land we can’t refrain from gravitating towards the water. It’s a sickness. So for our final excursion, we booked passage on a sunset/night boat tour with another 12 or so of our camper neighbors and a park ranger tour guide. Gliding out into the solemn waters for a second time, we witnessed a spectacular sunset. But the best part was after sunset. It’s feeding time!

It seems as if all the alligators come out to play at dusk - they were everywhere. While not uncomfortably close to our shallow tour boat, there were probably 3 times as many as during mid-day when you’d see one here and another there. Now we typically saw 5 and 6 at a time within a stone’s throw, cruising to and fro, dipping their nose up for a peek at us and back down again. But those are the ones we could immediately see; how many more are hiding in the shadows or under the boat? What’s that number again? 14,000? Let’s just say I did not imagine a decent chance of survival had anyone fallen off that boat – in fact, I got the feeling they were just patiently waiting for someone to trip.

Red-Eyed Dragons
As the sun winked away, our little boat became enveloped in shadow. Silence all around, but for our touristy whispers. “Ha. Over there…to your left. Another one…up ahead. Oohh, that one was close.” We searched for the slippery beasts via flashlight. The goal was to spot a glowing red eye contrasting to blackness of night. It was not hard. Multiple fiery gemstones glared back from the water’s surface. Ancient dragon’s eyes…unblinking, unafraid, ever-watchful….prepared to pounce whenever dinner presented itself.

Stuck in the Muck
As our tour boat headed into the narrow channel on our return back home, the outboard motor got stuck in the muck. A mildly nervous chatty twitter arose from our little boat. Instantly, no shortage of volunteers became available to help pole our way forward until we found deeper water. No one wanted to be out there in an inoperable skiff… in the pitch black… in 3 foot deep water… only 2 feet from shore… in the company of soooooooo many alligators!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A side note if you wish to camp here (and you should, despite the spiders – yes, I said that out loud): This park does not allow pets. Why? Do the math. And… maybe… extend that same reasoning with tiny children. Just saying. And by the way, I wouldn’t take a kayak out there in the swamp. Kayaks are tippier than canoes. Like I said – your sole goal is to remain OUT of the water!
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Van Mods

7/29/2016

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Our final van modification? A name change - hereafter known as V-ger. Until we change our minds again...
Excited to be back messing about in his dad’s woodworking shop, Brian spent several weeks completing some pretty awesome and quite useful custom modifications before we set off for the great outdoors in our Winnebago Travato …
  • New Bump Stops (Sumo Springs)
The first fix-it item to take place - new Sumo Spring bump stops. Yes, the original ones were OK, but these new ones raised the back end another inch. A mere inch? Who cares? Well, our generator is positioned at the lowest point under the vehicle and only 6” off the ground. That’s a little too close for comfort. In fact, I once backed Brian into a parking spot and forgot that said low generator was behind the wheel base. That expensive generator juuuuuuust baaaarely whisked the top of the curb. After that near disaster, I am more vigilant. But having that extra inch has been really helpful for clearing higher curbs or road debris or small children (just kidding).

  • Battery monitor
One major reason we bought the Travato is its similar setup to a cruising boat. A solar panel on the roof allows us to boondock in remote areas without attaching to power for a day or two at a time. But doing so requires constant vigilance of power usage. The refrigerator runs exclusively off of the coach 12 volt batteries and is the largest battery draw. Our existing battery monitor is almost useless, blinking when full and in trickle charge mode, otherwise notating the voltage as it depletes which is the least accurate method of measuring. Worse, when the sun is charging the batteries, the current gauge only shows the solar panel output voltage, not the actual battery voltage.  So unless we cover up the panel or wait until dark we really have no idea what state of charge the batteries are at. Useless. As a rule, batteries should never be depleted below 50% charge; and if you want to keep your expensive battery bank healthy and lasting longer, an 80% minimum is best practice. (Brian gets jittery when it gets below 80.) So in order to view the more accurate ‘percentage’ method, Brian installed a Balmar Smart Gauge. (We have two friends with the exact same gauge on their boats.)
 
The entire installation took only one day (once we got all the parts) but most of that time was spent dinking around with the batteries. Each battery sits on a tiltable “shelf”, tucked up into the chassis and impossible to access without tipping at a really dicey angle. Brian raised the van on wood blocks (in order to crawl under the low clearance) and then used a motorcycle jack to keep the battery shelf from sliding out of its slot, hurtling this hazardous 75 pound hunk onto the pavement (or someone’s head). I got the job of making sure the jack didn’t roll away. Yeah, that means I also had to be under the elevated van – good times.
 
After drilling the necessary wire access hole in the bottom of the van and cutting an opening in the wall of the bed for the gauge, Brian ran electrical wires from the battery post into the interior. Our new meter works as expected and is reasonably precise, within a couple points plus or minus. As on the boat, Brian is once again content, now possessing this immediate information. Picture Mr. Burns from the Simpsons – a giddy “amp accountant” reveling in his “bank status” and dictating whether or not I can “afford” to watch an episode of Downton Abby. Loan… DENIED!

  • Bedside tables
One major feature lacking in our Winnebago Travato K is a dining table. We could eat from the captain’s chairs but we love lounging on our couch-beds. Aside from perching plates precariously on our laps, there’s no suitable place to rest a floppy paper plate or a drink. We didn’t like the idea of a cumbersome shared tabletop sprouting up from the floor between the already narrow walkway, even if it was removable. So we decided on two mini tray-tables.

Our TV-tables are made of three types of solid wood (sapelle, cocobola, bubinga) and finished with a clear gloss. Brian fabricated brackets from aluminum bar stock, using the existing window trim screws to avoid drilling any new holes in the van metal. Each table has two screws protruding from the back that slide and lock into these brackets. And there’s a single support leg that rotates down into a routed space for flat storage vertically under the bed using Velcro. Plenty strong for a drink and a plate of food, they only take a minute to set up or take down. For us, it’s the perfect solution. Now we can eat dinner while lounging on our respective beds watching Downton Abby (but only when we have sufficient amp credits or plugged into electricity!) Our ‘tiny house’ living room is complete.
​
  • Spicerack/backsplash
My original 1-1/2” backsplash is about as inadequate as using a garden hose for a parking curb. It doesn’t block water from splashing or food from falling into the inaccessible black hole in back of my tiny kitchen cabinetry. I’d read a Facebook post about a grape accidentally dropping into that abyss with the owner having to remove the fridge to get it out before it rotted. Yuck. But worse, the thought of what happens when you don’t see it fall? So Brian made me a beautiful 4-1/2” backsplash with a built in spice rack out of the same wood as the tables, sapelle. I insisted it be made removable so I could clean up liquid spills, lest it seep into/underneath the wood. So he crafted toggle clamps on the back side that loosen with a quick turn of the screw instead of drilling into the Corian. It works beautifully: my spices are easy-to-access and organized and the piece looks as though the van was born with it.

  • Windshield shades
We purchased and installed retractable front windshield shades from Eclipse Sunshades. The ones that came with the van are cumbersome to put up each night and take up tons of room in the overhead compartment. We found and copied this solution from the Winnebago Travato Facebook page, an extremely helpful tool filled with owner ideas for van modifications. These install vertically along the far left and right windshield edges and stay in place while driving. We don’t even notice any peripheral vision blocking. Closing them is a snap, just Velcro shut in the middle. While they are not blackout shades, they block the sun when parked for a few hours sightseeing and when stopped for the night they provide sufficient shielding from onlookers with no background shadowing visible. The ease of use and added storage space was worth the $50. They are so convenient, we have already discussed our future despair and solution when, inevitably, we damage one from too much use. Yup, buy another set!  

  • Shower curtain
The shower curtain that comes with the van uses snaps that fasten around the upper portion of the bathroom. Lame. We figured it would be annoying to put up and down every time. So Brian installed a bendable slide utilizing about 30 spring grips that attach to the curtain top. Now we can slide the curtain in a U-shape around the shower basin and rope it off when done, leaving the curtain in place at all times. It IS a much better solution, but not as necessary so far since we have been staying at State Parks with shower facilities or relatives houses. We plan on using it much more next summer when we head out west boondocking in isolated wilderness.

  • Sewer hose holder/”bumper step”
Brian really wanted to upgrade to a Rhino sewer hose as the one that came with the Winnebago was (pardon the pun) crappy. It wasn’t long enough. It’s rather thin and chintzy. There’s no 90-degree bend at the end allowing proper fit into the sewer hole without stepping on the end to keep it in place (I don’t want my shoe anywhere near that sewer hole.) But the most important thing…there’s no “pee-viewing window”. While watching your pee+ stream from the tank into the sewer seems a bit (OK a lot) gross, consider the alternative…
 
Just today, we witnessed what we recognized as inevitable with the windowless hose: camper thinks sewage is done streaming, camper unhooks hose prematurely from trailer, camper eyes go wide as he sees his shit-stream is NOT done flowing and actually is still flowing quite profusely, stuff splashes everywhere (on the ground, the trailer, the camper), camper swears loudly, camper fumbles to reattach, camper (grumbling) resolves to buy a better hose. Who hasn’t done this to one degree or another! It only took us one use of the crappy hose to agree this was a priority. After watching that spectacle, we our looked at each other and smirked. WHO wants a crappy crapper hose? Not us.
 
But storing the additional 90-degree attachments and the longer 15ft hose was problematic. Brian researched and found the adjustable Sanitube storage tube to hold everything in a sealed container. But he could find no good way to attach it under our van. We really didn't want to store it IN the van (gross) and didn't desire the added length, weight and cost of a Stowaway trailer hitch storage box. So Brian came up with this idea of a “bumper” of sorts, fabricating a 5ft wide bracket made from 1” square steel tubing that attaches the Sanitube to the trailer hitch. As an added feature he welded a step on top to protect the tube, making it easier when getting in and out the back door. He painted the whole thing black to match the tube and added non-slip tape to the step (‘cause he thinks of everything). The whole contraption sticks out only 7 inches from the bumper. After having used it many times now, we are very pleased with our new gadget; it makes an icky job much less so. Plus, we will never be THAT guy.

 
V-Ger
Amid Brian’s month-long van modification session and the beginnings of my TransUnion death debacle (see last post), we squabbled over what to rename the van. Alas, Brian didn’t like the name Winndigo. Too hard to say. What?!  I thought it was cool, whatever. Brian liked Silver Bullet (no way, too much like the Budweiser slogan… wait, I think that IS the slogan). I wanted to name it KYLE: Kickass Yuppie Liveaboard Expediter or TIMMY: Travato Inspires More Miscellaneous Yondering. But Brian didn’t like my Southpark references. Sigh.
 
What about V-Ger? From the first Star Trek movie “The Motion Picture” (1979 and yes, the worst one) in which the newly self-aware NASA Voyager 6 satellite assumes its name is “V-Ger”, rather than Voyager, because moon dust covered up the “oya” portion of its name on the ships’ hull.  Not such a smart satellite. Yeah, we just spoiled the surprise ending if you haven’t gotten around to watch the 40 year old movie yet. Anyway, we feel it’s fitting:
  • our silver van looks a little sleek and space-shippy;
  • it’s intended purpose is for us to voyage where we haven’t gone before;
  • while self-aware satellites (or vans) usually are NOT a good thing, self-aware humans ARE… and so we shall strive, in honor of Spock;
  • and finally, if you don’t get a little dirt on your space vehicle, you haven’t really explored!
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First Camping Trip

11/8/2015

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Winndigo at P.J. Hoffmaster State Park
We bought the van on a Monday. Coincidentally, we were actually going “camping” with my parents on Friday. When I say camping, that means they camp in the trailer and we visit all day at the campground “pseudo-camping”, then stay in a hotel at night. Now we were going to be camping right next door.

Brian will be the first to tell me this is not REAL camping. And I agree. As kids, my family camped A LOT, first in tents, then in a pop-up. The pop-up, comparatively, was a luxury with its heater and sink. But this van is like a 5-star resort. Not only is there a heater, but we actually have air-conditioning, a refrigerator and a bathroom for gosh sakes.

I’m not sleeping on paper-thin foam or a ½” thick, leaky air mattress; I don’t need to worry about raccoons rummaging around our tent and eating all the oatmeal cookies; We’re not heating up rocks and wrapping them in newspaper to keep our sleeping bags warm; I don’t have to put up with fabric walls that rain on me at the slightest touch; I can actually sleep at night unafraid of a bear clawing through the thin cloth. And we don’t actually NEED to cook hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire since we have a stove… but we did. ‘Cause that’s what you do when you go camping.

Walk-Through
But before we get to the camping, we need to pick up the van. There were a couple minor items we noticed on Monday that needed fixing. The rear door latch was missing, the bathroom door was broken, plus they needed to detail it, etc. So, 2 days to prep should work out. Our walk-through was scheduled at 9am Thursday. Turns out the van had more issues than the dealer want to deal with, so they brought another identical van over from a sister company, one that had not been in an RV show. But it hadn’t been prepped; they’d just received it the night before.

Mechanic Madhouse
So when we arrived, ten mechanics were crawling all over our van, furiously prepping. Adding water, propane, gas, washing, vacuuming, charging, etc. We finalized financials instead, while they completed their checklist. 3 hours later, they were ready. Our service rep went through each and every system with us, thoroughly. No stone was unturned, no question unanswered. He was great. What we assumed would take about an hour took another 3 hours! But we didn’t care, we were floored that they took so much time and attention to detail.

We learned the new van’s TV had an annoying line though the screen, plus the cab floor carpet & front blackout shades were missing. We had them touch up a scratch and repatriate carpet, shades and the good TV from the other van.

Yeti Swag
Our salesman noticed us sitting in the lobby waiting for the rest of the walk-through items to be fixed. He felt bad we were still there at 3:30pm. “What do you need for the van? Anything specific?” I had been eyeing his stainless steel Yeti mug he claimed would hold ice for 2 straight days. Hmmm, that would be awesome for my Starbucks iced tea habit and Brian’s coffee. We got two gigantic ones-perfect for a trenti-sized iced tea. A $90 value. Oh, and 3 folding chairs.

A Disturbance in the Force
At 4pm, finally, we drive off in our new van to a nearby Dick’s Sporting Goods to look for sleeping bags. Almost immediately, we (Brian) hears a noise. Brian HATES unnatural noises. Detests them. He hears things I never do and gets so irritated when I don’t know what he is talking about. Whether on the boat or in our truck, they drive him crazy…I mean CRAZY. He will go to ALL manner of lengths to stop them…occasionally so disturbed as to climb on other people’s vacant boats to tie off a wayward, clanging halyard. (Now, you just don’t go climbing aboard OPB willy nilly, it must be a dire emergency. Either the boat is in danger, ooooor that loud, tink, tink, tinking line is severely damaging the mast… now that deserves a climb-aboard.)

“You hear that?” “What?” (I don’t.) “That noise.” “What noise?” We wait for it again. “THAT!” “Oh, yeah, I hear it.” (I actually DO hear it, I’m not trying to placate him…this time.) “What is it?” “Dunno.” The noise is a metallic, rolling sound. Like a ball bearing or a socket. I get up while Brian is driving to source the annoyance. I open cabinets; they are completely empty. It stops when we turn left, rolls again when we turn right. We switch spots.  I start driving donuts in the mall parking lot.

Some loose object is rolling around in the 2 inch dead space below the overhead cabinet base and above the recessed lighting panel where the wiring is located. Of course, there is no way to get in there, no access panel. So, the VERY first day we own it, within the first 5 miles, we now need to fix something. Oh goody. Brian’s first van project. But he’ll just have to ignore it until we can get to Atlanta to use his dad’s tools.

Headed to The Hoffmaster
The next morning we drive Winndigo to P.J. Hoffmaster State Park in Muskegon, along the wind-swept shores of Lake Michigan. (The entire time, that THING is rolling around. Brian is ecstatic.) We navigate the complex call-in system of after-hours campground check-ins. Luckily, my dad is an expert and had already scoped out our spots.

Let me just say this right now…Thank God we had a heater. Had we built the van we would not have installed a heater, at least not initially. We’re supposed to go camping in summer weather, not freezing temps. For our initiation night in the van it was 28 degrees! 28! But the Truma heater was the bomb. We kept toasty warm all night long.

Despite the cold, our 2-night camping experience was a success. The beds are super-comfy, far superior to usual camper mattresses. The fridge holds pizza leftovers perfectly. And the stove worked great for making coffee in our new $6 teapot. Then someone asked, “Why didn’t you just use the microwave?” Our brows wrinkle, lips pursed. Huh. Didn’t even occur to us. We ALWAYS make coffee using a teapot on the boat. Microwaves are foreign objects. We forgot we even had it! Score!

Overnighting at CB
A week after our first camping test, we traveled our final leg to Atlanta, staying overnight at a Cracker Barrel in Kentucky. Who knew that many Cracker Barrels, Walmarts, casinos and other places allow RVs to stay overnight… for free!  While a bit strange the first time, our stay was uneventful; the parking lot was quiet with about 4 other RVs spending the night. Our blackout curtains work great. The next morning, we got up, had breakfast at CB and headed out early. Easy. $120 saved on hotel. Let’s see, we have to do how many more nights before we make up the cost of the van? Mmm… let’s not go there.

Project#1: Extracting the Annoyance
At Brian’s dad’s house, we finally do the first project: find that rolly thingy. Brian uses a powerful magnet to determine its metallic-ness and how far he can move it. Not far, there appears to be structural baffles inside the dead space. He drills a 3” hole inside the cabinet, just barely missing nicking a bunch of wires. Out comes a beat-up driver bit extension. Thanks, Winnebago. You could have at least given us a new one for our troubles. He screws a blank light-switch faceplate over the hole.

Project#2: Leaky Roof
Two days before our flight back to San Carlos, we discovered a roof leak. Van project #2 within the first two weeks….mmm…not a great sign. We are extremely lucky it had rained for 3 days straight and we noticed the leak before we took off and left it there for 6 months. This should be covered by warranty, but when we call the Atlanta Camping World for service, they say they’ll call us back…and then don’t until several hours later. By then, Brian had already gone to an RV dealer to get roof caulk…no time to loose. He gooped the crap out of the AC unit, we hopped on our flight the next morning and hoped for the best. It hasn’t leaked yet!

All in all, we are satisfied with our purchase and are looking forward to really using the Hell out of it next summer. Most of all, we can escape the torrid humidity of San Carlos, see some sights and visit people along the way.
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Why a Winnebago Travato?

11/6/2015

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Yes, we actually stayed overnight in a Cracker Barrel. It's free!
Too much research
We spent hundreds and hundreds of hours researching RVs this summer (whiling away our time in the air-conditioned boat). A class B van was our best option. We will not be staying put in a campground for a week at a time, so we don’t need a 40-ft house with 50 pull-outs. We’ve got too many people and places to see, so we think we’ll be on the go all the time. A van is easy to drive, can park in a normal parking spot, is relatively “under the radar” as far as appearance and gets superb gas mileage compared to all other RVs (we averaged 17 mpg on our first 1000 miles).

We wanted to be self-sufficient so we could “boondock” or go unplugged for several days at a time. This means we’d need solar panels on top and a battery bank…similar to boat living. Road Treks and Pleasure Way vans were too expensive (even used), some layouts were unlivable, and we’d still have to add lots of money to make it “boondockable”.

The new Travato

Winnebago just started making the Travato a couple years ago. While cheaper than the others due to economies of scale and some lower-quality materials, enticingly, it included 100 watts of solar and a 12v fridge. But it was still too expensive; and used ones, since they are new to the market, are on short supply and hardly discounted. In July, we stopped by a Phoenix dealer before our flight just for kicks and were laughed at after we told them what we were willing to pay.

Build an RV?
So we then determined we could build an RV out of a new van cheaper than we could buy one. You’re joking right? Nope. And more people do it than one might think. Just Google “van conversion” or “camper van”. We decided on the Ford Transit van, mainly for its rear-wheel drive and V6 Ecoboost engine which is supposedly a real powerhouse.

Diesel was out completely. We met a guy here in San Carlos who was in the process of building out a Mercedes Sprinter diesel. He had to carry extra diesel jugs in his van because Mexico does not sell the ultra-low-sulfur fuel that the new Mercedes vans require. Not only can you not buy the proper diesel in Mexico, but it is illegal to transport fuel across the border. When he was eventually caught with the jugs he had to explain to the Mexican border agent “What am I to do, you don’t sell the right fuel here?” He let him go, but what happens the next time he gets a stickler agent? So for that reason AND the fact that many people have had expensive to fix problems with the Mercedes, diesel is not an option, despite its slightly better mileage.

We’d planned on purchasing said van next year and building it out in about 2-3 months. We would eliminate some major luxury items like an air-conditioner, water heater, generator and built in heater. But while Brian is adept at all the necessary electrical, woodworking, appliance installation, etc., the intimidating factor was time. How much time is this REALLY going to take? And it could become a monthly money drain until it was finished.

At the dealer
When we were in Michigan, Brian’s step-father asked if we wanted to go to an RV dealer. We thought, sure, why not? We’ll show him the various van models so he can picture what we are going to build and we can scrounge for ideas. We inspected the Travato again and liked it even more the 2nd time around. Our salesman was super nice, low-pressure and when he finally got around to asking us if we wanted to talk further, we were skeptical.

Low-balling
“You don’t want to hear my price”, I said. It was a low-ball price. We weren’t committed, just throwing it out there. We said it, but he didn’t laugh. Hmmm. He brought out his manager, as they always do…. “We can’t go that low.” He writes down a number significantly higher, well out of our comfort range. “What do you need your payment to be?” I hate that game. We only want to deal in hard numbers. No, I want to pay X, including tax, title and license.

Now I’m paraphrasing here: “Hmmm, OK since we certainly can’t do your low, low number, knowing you need to go up some from that, give me your next best low number. At that point, we will have to call the store owners to see if they are willing to stoop to your price. The good news is, winter is coming and they are looking to get rid of vehicles since we drive many of them down to Florida to sell. They may very well take it.”

We went back home and thought hard for 2 days on our “next low price” and whether we should do it at all. Crunch time. Make a decision.

Man, it sure would be nice to have it already all finished.  Just walk away with the completed vehicle? No van-buying hassles, no components research on a hundred items, no wiring, insulating, woodworking, plumbing, installing of sink, stove, fridge, toilet, shower, water tanks, batteries, solar panels, no thousands of Home Depot runs… no headaches. Wouldn’t it be nice to just have it already done? Isn’t that worth the several thousand dollars over our budget? Well, when you put it THAT way…

We returned on Monday and gave him our revised (still low) price. Done deal.  On Oct 12th, we officially became snowbirds.

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Meet Winndigo

11/4/2015

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Picture
"Winndigo" our new Winnebago Travato
I know what you’re thinking…

What????!!!! You bought an RV!!!!???? You’re quitting cruising? After only one year? Aha! I KNEW it.
No way, Jose. Look, can’t I have my cake and eat it too? We have lots of reasons to do this and have been agonizing over it all summer. Here’s why…

Originally, we had wanted to keep Indigo in Puerto Vallarta next hurricane season. Word is PV NEVER gets hit by a hurricane. Well, guess what just happened. Hurricane Patricia. That’s what. Now, it didn’t sustain major damage due to the protection of surrounding mountains, but still.

Staying in PV will almost triple our insurance cost… add to that major anxiety living in a hurricane zone, hoping we won’t get schwacked. Since we’re still new at this cruising thing, we’ve decided to play it safe and head back up to San Carlos next summer. Again.

But if the boat has to be in San Carlos… we aren’t. It’s just too damn hot. And boring. No way, no how. We will put it on the hard and get the heck out of dodge. Like 99% of the rest of the cruisers.
So the new plan is 6 months of the year in an RV, the other 6 months on the boat. This coincides with hurricane season (May into November)…as well as Mexico’s 6-month visa limit. I blame our friends on Cuba Libre for instigating… I mean inspiring… this madness; we didn’t even know this was a thing until we started talking to them. But now we’ve learned it is nothing new, as hundreds if not thousands of cruising Americans and Canadians follow the same migration pattern, whether to their houses or an RV, each summer.

We don’t plan on leaving Mexico (on our boat) anytime soon. There’s just too much to explore. Yet it takes a lot of time, money and effort to get back to the States. So once we make that trek, we’d kind of like to just stay for a few months at a time.

There are two driving forces behind doing this RV thing…

1. We'll be visiting lots of people.
We both have friends and relatives scattered all across the country. Some we haven’t seen in years, some we only had a mere hour to visit the last time we were together. We spent so much of the last two decades working that any spare vacation at home with family was too short or non-existent. Our quest to go cruising had been an all-consuming goal and it still is... But the farther away we get from our personal connections back home, the more we realize we need to keep those ties strong. Plus now we actually HAVE the time to reconnect. We’ll do this ‘snowbird’ thing for 2-3 years, at least as long as we want to keep our boat in Mexico, and then decide what to do from there.

2. Find a place to live.
We have no idea where we want to live, ultimately, AB (after boat). Another dilemma. Eventually, we want to buy property so Brian can build himself a gigantic pole barn woodworking/welding shop and me a tiny house. We’d like to explore various towns for living potential in Wyoming, Alabama, South Carolina, Florida, Michigan, Tennessee, Georgia, (not Alaska)…see the problem? I can imagine the hotel and restaurant bills compiling already. Not to mention I still haven’t seen the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Yellowstone or the Black Hills, etc. Brian keeps threatening to make us through-hike the entire Appalachian Trail. Now we can do it in an RV. That’s sooo more my style!

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