Airport Parking
Since we had to fly out of Hermosillo for my brother’s wedding in Cancun, we hoped to leave our truck at the airport. But the airport parking rumors were discouraging. One person believed it was $20 a day… another thought it was $80 a day. That’s dollars, not pesos. Everyone agreed it was expensive, but no one knew for sure just HOW expensive. We could not obtain a concrete answer from the almighty internet. So we asked the experts…

The Info Net
Every morning at 8am there is a San Carlos VHF radio net for cruisers. Since most cruisers seem to be hibernating this time of year, the San Carlos net typically lasts about 3 minutes, as opposed to the 20 minute La Paz radio show with a couple hundred boats listening in. A typical radio net consists of boat check-ins (saying your boat name over the radio to let others know you are listening – or not, if you want to remain anonymous) and a brief weather and tide report. It also gives cruisers the opportunity to state announcements, request rides or crew, indicate lost or found items, and request ‘local assistance’. So we asked the 6 other listening cruisers for recommendations as to where to stay and parking in Hermosillo. Thankfully, we actually got an answer: Holiday Inn Express would let us keep our car in their guarded lot for free for the week with one night’s reservation. Perfect - I’m all about killing two birds with one stone.

HIE
We can’t say enough about the Holiday Inn Express – Hermosillo (not to be confused with the normal Holiday Inn a few blocks away). For about $70/night, it rivals any standard business-class hotel in the States: clean rooms, great shower, working toilets (big plus in Mexico), big screen TV, nice exterior (tiny) pool/breakfast area, free breakfast with fresh fruit, eggs, yogurt, bacon, potatoes, etc… and of course the free parking AND a free shuttle to the airport (not from – you have to take a taxi back for a flat fee of 165 pesos). But the kicker is their service…

We reserved two nights at HIE, book-ending our Cancun trip. After arriving via airport taxi on a Saturday at 5pm, we were excited to see our bright red truck still in the parking lot. Yay, it’s not stolen! Disaster averted. We breathed a small sigh of relief. Ahhh, but we sighed too soon. 
Upon check-in we noticed our back tire was flat.

Flat Tire...I WISH it was the beer
Crap. We asked the front desk if anyone could help. Their maintenance guy, Joel (who spoke better English than the reception folks after living in Roanoke of all places), came to the rescue with an air compressor. After about 15 minutes of it not working properly, he persisted, got it running and blew up our tire. Yay! But we weren’t exactly thrilled with the idea of driving an hour and a half across an empty desert with a slow leak. There’s usually a REASON why a tire is flat, even though we couldn’t readily find the source.

Llantera
But tomorrow was Sunday and we feared nothing would be open. Joel knew of a tire place and actually offered to take us there to translate. After getting permission to leave work to help us, he jumped in the truck with Brian and off they went. At 6pm the ‘llantera’ had just closed up shop and waved them away. But Joel pleaded with them to stay open just a few minutes longer. They relented, found the culprit nail and sealed up our leak. For a mere 50 pesos - that’s a little over $3! Joel graciously refused our offer of a tip and we are grateful for Holiday Inn Express for letting him out of work to help us. He should get a raise. If I ever have to fly out of Hermosillo again, I will only stay at the HIE. Period.

Thought of the day: If you were at a hotel in the US, in the same situation but reversed, speaking broken English like a 3-yr old, and bewildered as to where in the world do I find a good place to fix my tire, and how am I going to communicate that…yes, someone would try and give you directions, but do you think anyone would offer to go WITH you to the tire place to make sure you found it and translate? Never.

Full disclosure: We were a little taken aback with the offer and, well, a little hesitant to just drive off with a stranger. Not to mention, typical llanteras (tire stores) here are nothing like your normal Discount Tire shop in the States, their showroom sporting rows of shiny, new BF Goodrich tires smelling of Armour-All. From street-level, most have the appearance of a junk dealer, displaying decades-old, crooked, hand-written signs stating the obvious: “Llantera”. Hmmm, I can’t tell from the stacks of old, rotting tires lining the grimy, seedy-looking storefront several feet high. None seem to want to advertise sparkly NEW tires, just the bad ones they remove. I always feared going to a store like that meant you wouldn’t get NEW tires… you’d end up with yours ‘appropriated’.

But our wariness was unfounded. Unfortunately, we are burdened with a mentality to not instinctively trust our neighbors. The US news portrays Mexico as a warzone (listening to news of the States, it actually sounds worse up there). Bad things DO happen in Mexico; I’ve heard first-hand accounts of attempted robberies and thwarted ambushes that make us vigilant. But these instances are rare and crime happens worldwide.  So, you trust your “spidey-sense” and hope for the best.

I’ll take you there…
This man, not knowing us from Adam, realizing we were perplexed, found us a solution and made it happen… personally. We are blown away by his kindness in helping a complete stranger. But the longer we stay here, the more we experience this unique trait.

Like my nurse Anjelica who rode with us in the car to the La Paz hospital carrying my IV…

Or our Spanish instructor who refused to call us a taxi, and instead drove us to my emergency eye appointment, escorting me inside to verify they understood the urgency…

Or the security guard at Marina Palmira who called his friend at home, asking him to come drive us back to our boat at 11pm on Christmas Eve when no taxis were available (yeah, we gave him a big tip)…

The Mexican people have shown us a different side of humanity… willing not just to give directions, or dismiss you as “not my problem”…  but to actually “take us there”. How human.

Tulum and Chichen Itza
The trip to Cancun for my brother’s wedding also doubled as our 20th anniversary present to ourselves. While the main goal was to relax and spend time with family, we still wanted to get out there and be tourists. There is so much to see in the area, the difficulty is choosing your poison: shopping, nightlife, ancient ruins, quaint villages, water-based theme parks, sailing (no), snorkeling, diving, swim with the dolphins, fishing trips… you name it. So twice we stumbled out of bed early from our food coma for all-day excursions. Monday was Tulum/cavern adventure day by ourselves and Thursday we went to Chichen Itza with my parents and Amanda’s parents.

Tulum/Cavern Adventure
At $140pp the price was steep, but this included: the 2hr van-ride both ways, our knowledgeable guide, a small 12 person tour, entrance to Tulum plus guided tour, entrance to the Mystical River and at least an hour of guided underground river swim, plus yummy tacos and beer for lunch on the beach.

Tulum was beautiful - archaeological ruins in a spectacular seaside setting. It was HOT. But beautiful. I’ll let the photos speak for themselves. Iguanas are everywhere. Our guide fed a banana to one who had been sick; they are like little dogs, sitting and waiting for scraps to fall. No, I don’t want one as a pet.

The Yucatan peninsula is rife with underground caverns, rivers and “cenotes” or open sinkholes.  Crystal clear and cold, the refreshing water shocks the senses - a stark and welcome contrast to our 98-degree pool or almost-as-warm ocean water. 365 miles of subterranean river connect over reportedly 6000 cenotes throughout the area. Essentially, the entire peninsula is one big potential sinkhole. After Tulum, we negotiated a 9-mile, twisty-turny, sandy road through the jungle to our underground river adventure.

I was a titch worried there might be snakes, but the only creatures swimming in these waters are smallish catfish and tiny, 1-inch minnows that nibble at your toes unless you keep moving. Glad we bought water shoes. These fish are used in the local spas as an expensive pedicure treatment – not kidding. One young woman in our group was so scared to get in the water with them that she started crying. It was 10 minutes of one foot in, eeekk, out it came… one more time, shrieekkkk… backing out and literally trembling with fear, and all of us encouraging her…”you can dooo it!” She finally jumped in and relaxed after realizing once you were in the water you couldn’t see or feel them swishing around.

I wasn’t afraid of the fish or the bats, but there ARE a few spiders on the cavern walls… BIG ones. Fortunately they don’t go in the water and if anyone spotted one with their headlamp, well, I just didn’t look at it. La, la, la….it’s not really there. Except for the few spiders and one lost scorpion (they don’t live there, our guide said it got washed into the river by the recent hard rains), we didn’t see any other creepy critters. Quite a few bats were sleeping near the cavern entrance at the end of the tour. Don’t look up with your mouth open. Why? You don’t want a mouth-full of guano droppings. Ewww.

While not awe-inspiringly massive like Carlsbad Caverns, this guided spelunking experience was an intimate, up-close-and-personal caving tour. We viewed stalactites smoothed by endless river forces, cool-looking tree root systems and lovely limestone icicles. Zero back-lighting meant the only illumination was via our 12 headlamps (and my hundreds of camera flashes). This natural setting made us feel like explorers discovering the cave for the first time.

Chichen Itza (Ceech-in eat-sa)
Or is it Chicken Pizza? Apparently so many Americans mispronounce Chichen Itza, the locals like to make fun of how we can’t seem to get our tongue around the word.

Normally a 2-1/2 hour one-way bus trip, ours was 4 hours that day. The main artery road had collapsed into a sinkhole overnight and traffic was a nightmare. Hmmm, did I not just say the entire peninsula was one big potential sinkhole? Despite almost 7 hours of bus-time book-ending a seemingly endless 13-hr tour, the Chichen Itza experience is a must-see wonder of the world. The sheer enormity of this Mayan temple and its surrounding preserved ruins are a sight to behold.

The main and most recognized structure is called El Castillo, the Temple of Kukulkan. You can see in my photos the difference between the fully restored side of the pyramid and the crumbling, untouched corner. Unfortunately, but understandably, you can no longer climb the 91 steps to the top. All four sides total 365 steps, signifying the Mayan calendar year they are celebrated for devising. The Mayan understanding of engineering, math and astronomy, in particular, was incredible. For example: twice a year, during the summer and autumnal equinox, the sun’s angle forms a shadow of a snake appearing to slither down the side of the temple, connecting with the stone serpent head at its base.

El Castillo is the main attraction but the entire plaza sports other ancillary buildings showcasing intricate stone carvings, The Warrior’s Temple surrounded by a thousand stone columns, an imposing domed observatory, and a grand ball field. The fact that these structures are still standing, some since 400 A.D., is mind-boggling. Centuries later, the Toltecs conquered the Mayan people and re-made the city into a religious center. Mystical and brutal tales of this era abound: of the losing team captain’s head being chopped off, of virgins and babies sacrificed into the nearby cenote, beating hearts lain onto a stone temple as offerings to the gods. Indiana Jones type stuff. But 'for reals'.

The one disappointment is the over-commercialization. Visitors are confronted with hundreds of courting vendors lining every pathway INSIDE the park. While the products are very cool…silver jewelry, wood carvings, stone Mayan calendars, brightly painted pottery and fabrics...there are about 100 more vendor stands than necessary. Cat-calls come at you from everywhere: “Cheaper than Walmart”, “Almost free!” Then as you walk past… “OK, Free!” Riiiight. Nothing is ever free my friend.

Haunting jaguar screams emanate from wooden duck-call-type-contraptions for sale from every other vendor. “Rrrrouuwww!” Jump out of skin. “What the h…?” Walk another 20 feet…another scream….we figure out these tricky merchants are blowing into a piece of wood to create the sound. Walk another 20 feet…another scream. Dammit already. I’m going to take that thing away from you…and you…and you…and 50 more of you, if you don’t stop making that noise right now. Brian: “Should we buy one for Jack?” Me: “Oh my God, NO!”

One heck of a proposal...

When my brother, Andy, proposed to Amanda last year, I was not surprised. Relieved was more like it. Since I knew his plan 3 months ahead of time, the anticipation was agonizing. Finally… sheesh! He’d already spoken with her dad, waited 2 months for a custom ring to be made and then…what, now you are waiting for THE PERFECT DAY (Valentine’s Day) to pop the question? Dangit, I’m getting old here… hurry up already! Seriously, I’d never seen more contemplation put into a proposal. Andy is just like that. And, well, Amanda is his soulmate so she definitely merits all that thoughtfulness. :)

So while the proposal was not exactly a revelation, the bombshell came when they told us when and where… August 2015…Cancun, Mexico! Sweet! And hey, we’ll already be IN Mexico!

So this long-anticipated, destination wedding extravaganza finally transpired. Last week, we secured Indigo for potential summer hurricanes once again and flew from the closest major airport, Hermosillo to Cancun via Mexico City, a 7-hr trip…from the desert into tropical paradise.

Cancun
Cancun looks like Florida at first glance, with its flat terrain, vibrant green palm trees and sultry sandy beaches. But Cancun’s exotic nature is palpable. The mixture of Mayan and Caribbean culture, spectacular ancient ruins, mystical underground waterways, emerald jungle colliding with sapphire ocean, striking flora and fauna…top it all off with good Mexican food. In the 70’s, savvy developers foresaw a tourism gold mine and built this Emerald City from scratch. Cuba, Cozumel and Isla Mujeres are nearby; Belize is only a 5-hr drive. The roads are excellent, the airport provides hundreds of international flights, everyone speaks English, hotel rooms are modern and, most importantly, the plumbing works. In fact, it’s hard to believe I’m still in Mexico.

We were told there are over 90,000 hotel rooms in the vicinity. Not sure if that’s true, but I DO know there are more shuttle vans on the road whisking tourists from airport to hotel to excursions and back than I have ever seen in one spot. One shuttle driver told us he was teaching his son English (not typically taught in Mexican schools there) so he could get a good job at a resort someday – it just goes to show the major effect tourism has on a place like this.

We never set foot in Cancun proper; we didn’t feel bad about that, I have a feeling it’s like Las Vegas. Our resort was located on a sandy beach about a half hour south of the city and we left it only twice the entire week to go on excursions to Tulum and Chichen Itza. Why? Well…why bother when it’s all-inclusive!

The NOW Sapphire Resort
This being our first all-inclusive experience, here’s all you need to know… Free food. Free drinks. Any time of day or night. Choose your restaurant and order anything, or one of everything.  BAM! Why go anywhere else?

Our trip started off on the right note upon check-in as we were greeted with a cold beer and a cold towel at the VIP lounge. Wow, free beer you say? Well, it only got better from there. Nice rooms, open-air/palapa-roofed lounge-bar, a sparkling azure pool to die for, talcum-powder beach, restaurants galore and great service. We were happy campers.

Typical day: Breakfast. Chill in pool. Lunch. Chill in pool with lots of alcoholic drinks. Move to lounge for pre-dinner drinks. Dinner. More drinks. Bed. Repeat 5 more days.

Free Food
Basically, it’s like staying in a Vegas hotel…except all the food is free, even room-service. With two yummy buffets to choose for breakfast, my highlight was the fresh fruit: mango, watermelon, cantaloupe, plums, pineapple, papaya (except we both hate papaya), guava, kiwi, starfruit and even some really weird stuff (that purple thing with the white pulp and black seeds I learned is dragonfruit or pitaya). Crazy fresh juices too… I’d never had cantaloupe juice before… it was excellent. If they didn’t have it, they’d squeeze it for you. Fresh pastries, croissants, muffins, pan au chocolat (a daily indulgence), cereals, yogurt, your requisite hotcakes, French toast, Mexican egg dishes, and standard bacon/eggs/potatoes, even an omelet chef. And good coffee. Can you tell breakfast is our favorite meal?

Mid-day you could go back to an extravagant lunch buffet, eat at a quickie pool-side bar for hamburgers and nachos, or try their ocean-front, Mexican café with delish fish tacos, ceviche, gourmet nachos and salads.

Dinner required a much harder decision with 4 restaurants to choose from: a dinner buffet, or 3 sit-down restaurants - French, Mexican, and Mediterranean and for one night, Asian. The French restaurant was excellent but since it required the men to wear long pants, I only got to try it once. (I wonder who didn’t want to wear PANTS? Boo.) I’d give the food 4 stars overall - everything was good. But if you didn’t like a dish, try something else! It’s free! (OK, technically not FREE… but I had already paid for the package deal months ago, so in my mind it’s FREE.)

At the sit-downs, we ordered multiple appetizers, plus our meal AND dessert AND drinks – every single time. Because we could. Darn if I’m not getting my money’s worth out of this place. The freedom from not having to think about how much this is going to cost me is pretty awesome. We did have to tip the waiter, which is difficult… how much do you tip someone when you have NO idea how much that 5 course meal cost?  

By the end, we had eaten more in one week than we probably had in the last month. Huge breakfasts & lunches, elaborate dinners, plus more alcoholic beverages than we could count. We were FAT, I mean Golden Corral FAT. And a little wobbly. We were ready to go back to the boat and stop the insanity. Except who's going to feed us when we get back????

Ocean Invasion
The Caribbean ocean suffered an invasion this summer – by kelp! Literally, tons of it! Our sparkly clean, sandy beach was littered with mounds of stinky seaweed. Every square inch of warm, murky ocean water was clogged with the brown stuff. No way I’m getting in that!

As quickly as the maintenance guys raked and carted it away, more arrived. They weren’t allowed to use tractors due to potentially disturbing turtle nests. The alternative?  Employ the ancient wheel-barrow method with ‘mucho’ back-breaking ‘trabajo’ – those poor guys. Plus it smelled…sulfurous, like rotten eggs. Needless to say, the ocean was under-utilized and under-appreciated this week. By Friday, the onslaught had dissipated significantly, so we took a dip, but not for long. It still smelled and wasn’t all that pleasant. Lounging on the beach chairs and reading a good book was an excellent fallback activity. Plus, we never really missed the ocean (well, we live on it)… we were in the pool all day!

Chill Pool
The big pool was gorgeous: multiple water features, in-water lounge chairs, cabana beds, swim-up bar, fresh pool-side snack food just steps away, ocean views and entertainment. But we never used it. Mornings were tranquil, but it got busy real quick and by mid-day the pool was PACKED… and LOUD. Music, water-zumba, hotel staff leading sing-a-longs and doing cruise-ship-style games…not for us. Thank God for the VIP pool. For only an extra $100 total, this VIP Preferred status got us into the smaller “chill pool”. No kids allowed; no games allowed; very few people. Just right.

Picture 24 people  – parents, siblings, friends, relatives, spouses, many meeting for the first time, staying at a resort together for an entire week. Vacationing with other people increases, exponentially, potential for disaster; this turned into one of the best vacations ever. How? These were cool people. Chill people. And ‘chill people’ at the ‘chill pool’ made for a ‘chill wedding’. Everyone was just happy to hang out and enjoy themselves, do their own thing and not fuss.

So after eating each meal, we all usually ended up at this quieter VIP 'chill pool'. And we’d be in it for hours… yapping, drinking, loafing on floating chairs, resting on pool noodles, drinking some more, reading, napping or surfing internet on chaise lounges or cabana beds. The water was like bathwater… not exactly refreshing, but close to body temperature - you just didn’t want to get out of it.

Our talented, and patient, pool bartender generated drinks as fast as the speed of light. Sex on the Beach, Dirty Monkeys, Mojitos, Margaritas, beer, tequila shots, everything under the sun and more. While the drinks were a bit watered down (probably a good thing), and the tequila ‘no bueno’, you couldn’t help but get into a festive mood hearing our crowd chant “More Sex! More Sex!” and another round of Sex on the Beach would appear out of nowhere. (Blame the bartender, he started it by asking the question... "More Sex?"). So it should be no surprise that the pool ended up a major player in the wedding of the decade.  

Simply Serene Ceremony
The wedding was held on the resort’s sandy beach under a simple wood gazebo draped in sheer white fabric, with the serene ocean as backdrop. The groom…happy and jittery as he waited with the rest of us for the bride to arrive.  The bride… reminiscent of the beautiful Greek Goddess Athena, strolled down the aisle in an elegant, Grecian-style gown perfect for this beachy occasion.

But as the officiator began her short sermon, for some reason, all I could think of was:

“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togever tooday.” “And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...”  I swear she said “marriage” and “together” and “love” the same way that the Clergyman did in the Princess Bride. OK maybe I just really wanted her to say it like that. Go back and review that tape! It was all I could do not to snicker…

Writing their own vows gave the ceremony added personalization and a touch of comedy as they each tended to instinctively know what the other was going to say before it was even spoken. The final act of filling a glass vase with purple and white colored sand remains a poignant memory, symbolizing their individual lives intertwined as one.

Rainy Reception
Ceremony complete, the wedding party relocated to an outside reception dinner…at the chill pool! Dusk fell and we had the VIP pool area all to ourselves – an appropriate setting given the amount of time we spent in this same spot all week. We mingled over appetizers, snacking contentedly on amazing bacon-wrapped shrimp while drinking some sort of delicious, electric blue & red colored martini concoction. As we sat down to dinner the sun had set. Just one problem... No longer at the beach with the sea breezes blowing, we are now in a jungle scene… at night… with bright halogen lights surrounding our dinner table. BUGS!

They were everywhere… all over the white tablecloth and crawling into the bread plates that had been sitting there for just a few minutes before we sat down. Needless to say, I didn’t eat my bread. If you didn’t cover your drink with a napkin it was filled with several flying bugs in no time. Playing whack-a-bug was the new sport. Each course served required a focused attempt at eating as fast as you could before your plate became contaminated. The dinner was excellent though, and the little creatures did not dissuade us from attacking our meals.

With the food consumed, bugs ignored and speeches spoken, the bride and groom first-danced and cut the cake. As the cake was served, it began to sprinkle… then pour a little harder. Awwwww…darn it. We all huddled under various canopy beds lining the pool while 2 guests remained seated and refused to let the rain spoil their cake-eating experience. About 10 minutes later, after becoming completely soaked, I can only imagine the thought that probably went through their heads: “Screw it, I’m already wet”.

SPLASH!

It’s A Wonderful Life
Remember the high-school dance scene from “It’s a Wonderful Life”? The gymnasium floor cracks open revealing a pool underneath. Unwittingly, Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed are dancing perilously close to the edge, assuming theirs must be THE best Charleston judging from the startled oohs and ahhhs of their spectators. At the height of their boogying bliss…“Hey, we must really be good!”… they tumble backwards, right into the pool… yet continue dancing unabashedly. Everyone else gasps and then jumps in after realizing: ‘What the heck. That looks like fun!’
 
Yeah, it was kinda like that.

So one drenched cake-eater jumps in the pool. Then the other. What?! Crazy people, right? But then another couple jumps in…then another. Ohhhh! No they didn’t!  The bride and groom jump in! In full wedding attire! It was all over after that. Our pool-jumping partiers defied the rain and filled the night with child-like giggles of delight, whoot-whoots, clapping, arm-waving, splashing, singing and dancing to Robin Thicke and Bruno Mars. After several minutes trying to take pictures of all this mayhem in the rain, everyone starts yelling at those of us remaining to just get in already! Us old folks (just like in the movie) look at each other, shrug shoulders and join the revelers. Oh, what the heck. That looks like fun!

Dancing and singing and splashing and just generally being merry, we were certain the staff would kick us out soon. But then the bartender took off his shoes, waded right into the pool and delivered us a huge tray of drinks! He continued to do so for the rest of the evening – what a guy – delivering shot after shot after shot. The daddy-daughter and mother-son ritual dances were performed poolside, albeit soaked to the bone, with all of us cheering from the pool.  

We danced the night away in the bathwater, in our wedding outfits, until they kicked us out at 11pm.  I would not be surprised if this impromptu, pool-party-reception ended up as a promo video on the Sapphire NOW website (either that or the waiter was taking a close-up video of our very-nice-but-scantily-clad wedding crasher, who knows.) One staff member said he’d worked there 10 years and never saw anything like it. (the reception, not the crasher)

It truly was a night to remember… the beginnings of A Wonderful Life. Cheers and much love to my brother and his new wife. May your life together always be as amazing as this week.

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Warning: This slideshow contains A LOT of photos. Since most family/friends couldn’t make the trip, I’ve posted pretty much a wedding montage extraordinaire so you all can see what you missed!